Sunday, May 13, 2007

assigning respOnsbility

wayward Oriole spent his whole afternoon enjoying the cruising in boston. and now someone must pay the cost. because wayward Oriole does not easily assume a hard-fought win is in the bank. and when he does assume a hard-fought win is in the bank, it had better damn well stay in the bank.

wayward Oriole assigns blame for the mother's day massacre as follows:

84.4% blame: sam perlozzo, who complains his bullpen is worn out and then defies all logic by rushing them into a non-save situation. perlozzo should never have left the dugout. bottom line: if perlozzo just sits there with a donut in his mouth, orioles win.*

4.6% blame: leo mazzone, who didn't stop his ol buddy ol pal from leaving the dugout. and then half-heartedly walked out to talk to chris ray long after everyone knew what was coming.

3.9% blame: ray, who conducted himself like a choker for not getting to first base; every other part of his debacle of an outing would have been moot but for that. ray is not a choker; he's in the midst of a rough sophomore slump but he should be able to right himself.

3% blame: wayward oriole blames himself for investing so much in this woebegone team. but he cannot help it; he cannot root for another.

2% blame: to cal ripken, jr., for walking around like his turds don't stink and pretending not to be interested in orioles. ripken needs to take over this team. he needs to find a way. ripken can no longer sit on the sidelines and watch this decade-long disaster unfold.

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, CAL?
FIND A WAY!!!!
1% blame: danys baez, for being unprepared to take the mound, albeit that he had no time to warm up and no inkling he'd be called upon by perlozzo.

1% blame: ramOn, for not catching the pop-up. it was windy out there; earlier in the game jay payton misplayed a ball - though no harm was done. so all orioles should have been on their most highly alert status.

.1% blame: to peter angelos for being an incomprehensible, galactic clown. wayward Oriole has a lot of trouble assigning blame to angelos because wayward oriole does not believe in prosecuting the mentally retarded.

* we can take a quick few moments to look on bright side. orioles upcoming schedule is light. diamonbacks, nationals, royals, over-rated angels, threadbare blue jays, and oakland (to whom payback is owed) conversely, boston must now play detroit, atlanta, and yankees. that's why this loss is even more hideous; it hands red sox a sense of destiny they don't deserve... also, josh beckett's nice little start is kaput; wayward o predicts this finger problem will plague him for rest of year and not to mention rest of career.

nor has wayward oriole forgotten how perlozzo did NOT KNOW THE RULES in the cleveland game when markakis scored a run and tommy trebelhorn had to bail out manager and protest umpire's call.

wayward oriole is very, very sure perlozzo will soon be fired. and mazzone can stay or go as he pleases since he's clearly irrelevant any how. as he rode home from softball game on train tonight, wayward O had a vision of a new manager for the orioles....

BOBBY VALENTINE.

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