the time is nOw

wayward oriole is monitoring the trade winds and there's a foul one coming out of texas. by that wayward O means rangers stink on ice. texas is more of a hockey state anyway; baseball and football aren't really big down there. anyway, as Os are on nice stretch here, beating up royales and whatever, creeping back near .500 there is an URGENT MATTER they must attend to.

they have to make a deal for mark teixeira now, this week, today, tomorrow, yesterday!

this dood proposes three teixeira trades, each involving a young pitcher and two young outfielders or an OF and a first baseman. Orioles can do something like that: off top of wayward O's head how about hayden penn, john knott and brandon fahey or -- how bout kevin millar (does he have a no-trade?). or, since Os are heavy on pitching talent, how about penn, jeremy guthrie and millar or knott? you clearly have to entice rangers with talent to make this happen. wayward O is probably being silly trying to include millar in this trade but it's clear Os will have to clear out millar or gibbons in order to make it work on the bench. rangers don't want an old guy but millar could at least play first for texas down the string.

[a millar throw-in in a teixeira trade would leave aubrey huff as a left-handed hitting infield option or DH option and jay gibbons riding mo' pine than a yellow-capped pinerider.]

bottom line though is the time is NOW for orioles front office to be getting this one done. no need to wait. fly to texas with a case of beer and some crabcakes and ply them however you can! after next season the yankees will throw so much money at teixeira it will make your head spin because they are going to need a first baseman. Os need to get him "home," then offer him a contract extension everyone can be comfortable with, say in the $13 million / year range.

on the trade front Orioles outgun yankees. especially this year with so many yankee prospects already flaming out in the big leagues. on the cash front, wayward O just saw peter angelos arguing with a traffic cop because he lost a dime in the parking meter. the man has more money that steinbrenner probably but he never got used to the idea he was rich... or something. so on the cash front, Os lose again to yankees.

teixeira hitting fourth is the absolute perfect solution for orioles who are one bopper away from octOber. if wayward O was flanagan or duquette he would have trouble sleeping knowing this crucial piece of business was out in the wind.

the traitOr's lament

massive old testament-style incites today; early it's true but wayward O cannot remain silent -- like the january-birdless night -- any longer. or perhaps not so early because the disabled list is no longer more than just a chilly night away....

wayward O saw the traitOr's watershed debacle on the hill vs. red sox and saw his face when manny ramirez, the savant of the bat and grill, simply decided enough of this 82 mph junk and deposited baseball in left field near monuments of dead yankee greats.

wayward O is angry today, friends.... angry the way one can only be when a long friendship goes sour and when one learns the true colors of a man once admired.

and when said friend's inevitable downfall can't even provide joy to quench the endless sense of betrayal and worse ... the sense of what could have been ... in baltimore.

watch the birdie! traitOr had his chance to make mark on world, and he choose to leave nest, fly to new york city, earn a couple extra million dollars, and get a "ring" and now with his career in its twilight wayward O has a few things to say:

THERE
WILL BE
NO RING

THERE

WILL BE

NO H.O.F.

THERE

WILL BE

NO FANFARE

There will be no more 30-start seasons.

There will be no 3.xx era. No more 19-9's or 18-11's.

Here's what there will be:

BITTER FEELINGS
of a man who failed at life

DARKNESS of SOUL
With no salve to quench the pain

A PERCH in HADES

In booth next to the Dark Cherub

and...

A PLACE in histOry

With Your Fellow Mercenaries

Who are also going to leave the Bronx Ringless.

Wayward O especially feels like it's important for The Young Savior, Buh Dard, the Wing-Man, Brian Roberts, Chris Ray and one or two OTHER CURRENT HOME-GROWN, Rich, Talented, WELL-FED ORIOLES to ABSORB THIS LESSON of History.

DO NOT
BE LIKE MIKE

Yes. The Evil One May Be a Hideous Wart on the Arse of Satan. But that does not mean you abandon your mates and wander in search of gold and treasure.

The Traitor's story makes this plain.

diaspOra, part 2

Name: Bumper sticker on back of sport-utility vehicle.

Location: 56th St., NYC

Quote: Honk, honk!

Shwag Choice: This is a solid, classic bumper sticker featuring a modern version of the "smiling but still kind of mad" cartoon bird logo, who is sporting the "classic" ornithologically correct cap.

Wayward O Says: Thanks to Gordon Donovan for the snappy snapshot. It's nice to see at least somebody uptown in Manhattan has a little bit of sense. By the way, Gordon is what you might call a "Met Fan," as evidenced by this shot:

That's him on the JumbOtron... he's a graphic designer so this could be a photo shop but Wayward O highly doubts he would engage in such chicanery when it comes to hallowed halls of Shea!

wretched Os fanZ ... take pleasure in yankee pain!

sunday update wayward O cannot get image of striker robinson cano's excellent ball handling skills out of his birdie brain...

...as chelsea yankees boot away another ball game!!! premiership baseball!!!

the best boot wayward O has seen in like maybe five years!! you would almost mistake this for bicycle kick except mitt is DEAD GIVEAWAY!!

for second time this year, orioles move from basement to 2nd place with single, skid-ending victory. wayward O is sure that's some kind of dubiOus first-time achievement.

but wayward O did not come here to tell you about boring win vs. baseball wizards that baez and ray -- chief on-field culprits of mother's day massacre -- nearly squandered. wayward O won't talk about nats right now. he likes many nats such as dmitri yOung and that kid at 3rd base and he likes the eagle mascot too and wonders if eagle guy can maybe play 2nd base.

no. wayward O chirps from his little branch of the blogOsphere this fine saturday simply to leave you with this image & story link, from the new york daily news...

only ten games out with a $200 million payroll?!? you can do better than that ... by end of may wayward O thinks it could be 12 or 13... how now, jeffrey maier????

the massacre, part fOur

wayward O wishes to move on from mother's day massacre, but he cannot for two main reasons:

· reason one: Os haven't won since (this doesn't need much discussion)
· reason two: people are *still* talking about it

wayward O is watching the NESN today as tigers visit host red sox. and the announcers are going on and on about it except they call it ....

THE MOTHER'S DAY MIRACLE

wayward o has trouble digesting such mendaciOusness. everybody knows the almighty great baseball spirit was far from the ballpark that day!

nevertheless, red sox sideline babe -- who is not as hOt as amber (!!!) -- reports there were two nuns next to dugout last sunday and they blessed manager terry francona's boys and that's how come red sox got 6 runZ in bottom of ninth to drive demonface orioles into weeklong spiral.

if this is true, then what does that make perlozzo? calling all bible scholarz!!!!

even sawx fans got to shOut

wayward O asks: is it okay for root for sammy now that the diaspOra has called for his ouster? let wayward O know in comments area! it is a moral quandary of the highest order. wayward O says he will root for team to get it together and go on a tear over next month. wayward O also says if Orioles aren't above .500 on 26 june you will see shake-up.

more importantly, wayward O knows a fella who is a rare breed: a thinking man's red sox fan. we had following chat after mother's day massacre and a good deal can be inferred herefrom.

Ted Williamsburg: You wanna talk about it?
The Wayward O: hehe.
The Wayward O: i had a feeeeling i might hear from you today.
Ted Williamsburg: I was relieved when neither the Times or NY1 had a story about a white, mid-30s jumper on the Brooklyn Bridge
The Wayward O: tell me this, honestly.... when i pinged you [Sunday] ... i never claimed victory right? i just basically said Guthrie was having a great game and i was enjoying it
Ted Williamsburg: That's true, in discussing it with GF and one other person I noted that you weren't jinxing yourself or your nine
The Wayward O: excellent. i'm glad to hear that.
Ted Williamsburg: If you had, you'd a heard from me a lot sooner
The Wayward O: i think -- aside from the ortiz and varitek hits -- the sawx were bystanders, witnesses to a self-inflicted calamity.
Ted Williamsburg: Oh, totally
Ted Williamsburg: That said, Yukes was safe
The Wayward O: i didn't go back and really eyeball the force at home.
The Wayward O: but it's the kind of thing that can propel a team like the sox and give 'em a sense of destiny
Ted Williamsburg: Absolutely
Ted Williamsburg: I said to a Yankee fan that if the Sox hold onto the division, that will be looked upon as the day they took control
Ted Williamsburg: Especially with NY wasting a nice effort by Andy while getting cuffed by a no-name
The Wayward O: true that. the only bright spot is Os are about to hit the easiest portion of their sked.
The Wayward O: if we're not at .500 or above it on june 26, then heads will roll.
Ted Williamsburg: Sox next 22 games are against teams with a win percentage of .560
The Wayward O: yeah.
Ted Williamsburg: They Yanks are against teams .590
The Wayward O: Os had a tough sked in april. now they get the NL West and the Nats.
Ted Williamsburg: Nats can do wonders for a team
The Wayward O: so --- if perlozzo hasn't lost the clubhouse maybe they shake off the Mother's Day Massacre and keep playing hard.
Ted Williamsburg: Pulling your pitcher because your catcher dropped a pop out is f*cking retarded, I can't imagine him hanging too much longer
The Wayward O: you should see the balto blogs. to a man they're calling for his head.
The Wayward O: folks are comparing to the maier game in terms of level of agony.
Ted Williamsburg: How do you not?
Ted Williamsburg: Higher stakes in the Maier game, but SUnday was totally self-inflicted
The Wayward O: right .... and as i said on the camden chat blog (prior to collapse) "This is as big as it gets in May"
Ted Williamsburg: big = bad

the critics rave

wayward oriole woke up early. he heard birds chirping and saw may sunshine. then reality hit a few moments later... DID. That. HAPPEN????

yes. yes it did.

wayward oriole could not go back to sleep. so he took a spin around the internet just to see how the mother's day massacre resonated with bloggers, players, managers, and writers:

"Jeremy Guthrie probably should have stayed in" -- ap wire's game recap, lead sentence

"Guthrie had thrown 91 pitches and given up only three hits. The Red Sox were certainly happy to see him go." -- jeff zrebiec, baltimore sun writer

"what if Guthrie had given up a 420-foot out? That would have been OK?" -- bob ryan, boston globe story

"...we had no chance" -- david ortiz, on jeremy guthrie's performance

"I'm glad he got taken out" -- kevin youkilis, on perlozzo's decision to pull guthrie

"I’ve been reluctant to criticize Perlozzo too harshly ... you have to lay the blame for this one squarely on his shoulders." -- the loss column

"I really feel terrible for Guthrie." -- kevin millar

"Unconscionable ..."

"There is no adequate English for what I saw last night."

"They deserve a playoff worthy manager"

"I never think it's the manager. Today ... it is."

"Perlozzo said he would have made the same decision again ... That is a cause for concern, there should be a learning curve somewhere."

"Perlozzo ... has no business running a major league baseball team"

"Normally I'm not the guy calling for anyone to get fired ... Sorry Sam"

"As soon as I saw Perlozzo come out of the dugout, God as my witness, I said, 'We're going to lose this game. You watch. ... Ask my mother-in-law: that's what I said."

"Second-rate management" -- commenters on Kubatko's Balt. Sun blog and Camden Chat

and, last but not least:

"Game should have been over" -- orioles manager sam perlozzo

indeed.

and lest, dear reader, you think wayward oriole is cherry picking, wayward oriole sought comment from those who did not think perlozzo is to blame. there were a few -- and far between -- but what they offered were essentially two points: hindsight is clear and it's more angelos than anything else. not really, but even so that doesn't negate any of the above.

assigning respOnsbility

wayward Oriole spent his whole afternoon enjoying the cruising in boston. and now someone must pay the cost. because wayward Oriole does not easily assume a hard-fought win is in the bank. and when he does assume a hard-fought win is in the bank, it had better damn well stay in the bank.

wayward Oriole assigns blame for the mother's day massacre as follows:

84.4% blame: sam perlozzo, who complains his bullpen is worn out and then defies all logic by rushing them into a non-save situation. perlozzo should never have left the dugout. bottom line: if perlozzo just sits there with a donut in his mouth, orioles win.*

4.6% blame: leo mazzone, who didn't stop his ol buddy ol pal from leaving the dugout. and then half-heartedly walked out to talk to chris ray long after everyone knew what was coming.

3.9% blame: ray, who conducted himself like a choker for not getting to first base; every other part of his debacle of an outing would have been moot but for that. ray is not a choker; he's in the midst of a rough sophomore slump but he should be able to right himself.

3% blame: wayward oriole blames himself for investing so much in this woebegone team. but he cannot help it; he cannot root for another.

2% blame: to cal ripken, jr., for walking around like his turds don't stink and pretending not to be interested in orioles. ripken needs to take over this team. he needs to find a way. ripken can no longer sit on the sidelines and watch this decade-long disaster unfold.

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, CAL?

FIND A WAY!!!!

1% blame: danys baez, for being unprepared to take the mound, albeit that he had no time to warm up and no inkling he'd be called upon by perlozzo.

1% blame: ramOn, for not catching the pop-up. it was windy out there; earlier in the game jay payton misplayed a ball - though no harm was done. so all orioles should have been on their most highly alert status.

.1% blame: to peter angelos for being an incomprehensible, galactic clown. wayward Oriole has a lot of trouble assigning blame to angelos because wayward oriole does not believe in prosecuting the mentally retarded.

* we can take a quick few moments to look on bright side. orioles upcoming schedule is light. diamonbacks, nationals, royals, over-rated angels, threadbare blue jays, and oakland (to whom payback is owed) conversely, boston must now play detroit, atlanta, and yankees. that's why this loss is even more hideous; it hands red sox a sense of destiny they don't deserve... also, josh beckett's nice little start is kaput; wayward o predicts this finger problem will plague him for rest of year and not to mention rest of career.

nor has wayward oriole forgotten how perlozzo did NOT KNOW THE RULES in the cleveland game when markakis scored a run and tommy trebelhorn had to bail out manager and protest umpire's call.

wayward oriole is very, very sure perlozzo will soon be fired. and mazzone can stay or go as he pleases since he's clearly irrelevant any how. as he rode home from softball game on train tonight, wayward O had a vision of a new manager for the orioles....

BOBBY VALENTINE.

cOunter offer

some dood at the dallas news fields a question about toilet bowl rangers and trades:

From e-mail: My question is one of the IF kind. IF the Rangers can't get it together and get over .500 and into the AL West race, and IF we decide to sell off, who are the likely candidates to leave and where will they go and who do we get back. -- Scott

Evan Grant: Wow, Scott, you don't want much do you? It would be a total guess right now, but Mark Teixeira certainly would be a guy the Rangers would have to consider trading. (...) the best deal the Rangers could try to make is with Baltimore for Nick Markakis and a pitcher. Easier said than done for many reasons, including that Baltimore may not be a contender and the Orioles are difficult to deal with.

OK. you got your dig in. cool. orioles are hard to deal with ... that explains the john maine trade!! perfect!! wayward O says that's a good way to get hired at EsPn since they are blatantly racist against Orioles anyway.

if rangers can't get it together? if??? the rangers are HORRIBLE. unlike kc and dc, they don't even have an excuse. they have plenty of money and continuity. like pretty much everything dubya touches, the rangers have turned to turd.

regarding this scenario, however: first off, the yOung savior will never be a texas ranger. he's a greek kid from the east coast. fried twinkies are not his thing. maybe he'll be a met someday ... in like 2015. but a ranger? haha. second, fine dOn't trade teixeira before his contract expires. he'll just sign with baltimore in 09 anyway! everybody knOws the maryland boy wants to hit in the comfy confines of camden.

the funniest part is how texas billy says, "markakis AND a pitcher." as if the very notion of trading the young savior for a first baseman wasn't ridiculous enough. hey, if you are blue-skying you may as well go whole hog.

wayward O proposes the following trade at the deadline: Os get teixeira. rangers get jay gibbons, kevin millar and a tin of old bay. rangers smile and say thank you.

yOunt

brettpharve: dudeman
the wayward O: dude!
the wayward O: dude guess what i saw all over nyc this weekend
brettpharve: can you stop them?
brettpharve: um
brettpharve: brewer caps
the wayward O: brewer lids!!!
brettpharve: ha -- yep
the wayward O: wOrd
brettpharve: bandwagon is closed
the wayward O: i am jealous of your spring fling
brettpharve: shit
the wayward O: may it become a hot summer love affair
brettpharve: it aint a fluke -- gonna be fun
the wayward O: they're already getting called out by fat sports yakkers
brettpharve: you see, they got this kid who's cecil's son !
the wayward O: ha.
the wayward O: only thing he needs to do is act like he's been there
the wayward O: yeah
brettpharve: aws


from the wayward Os photo vault. 27 september 2003 @ l'estad de janqui:

the wing-man

yankees cry. but they no nothing of injuries. Os too have minus three starters now. minus four if you want to count John Maine. dagger!

adam loewen is not the yOung savior. he is the second canadian; he is the unheralded hero; he is like the guy in 'the last king of scotland' who frees the creepy doctor to save uganda and is shot dead.

he is the second vector.

the unseen force of change.

the quiet mollusk waiting in the sand.

and in 2008 when Orioles bring back same 2007 squad minus a certain red-haired DH and plus a real DH then lOewen will reclaim his position as the Canadian Coronator or as some of you may know him: Lefty No. 2 from the Great White North. The cold cut clipper.

The Wing-Man.

Wayward O feels like the 2007 team is gelling; toughening up; relearning what it means to inherit the mantle of Brooks Robinson, Earl Weaver and Eddie Murray. Except they can't get a hit ... last night's win over Cleveland was a rare gem to be savored when the darkness sets in.

Meantime ... Wayward O feels like Brian Burres might have a little bit of fight in him. Four inning's worth apprOximatley.

wing man. please rest your fracture
and when you make your return
orioles will hit the ball to the outfield
with a man on third
and a Win shall be yours.

detrOit rock city

wayward O trifled with hope as Os had nice first two weeks but now he sees that without a real DH Orioles are officially not having even a small chance of a miracle run later in the year.

what wayward O is saying is ... Os are done. done for another year. ok play hard, see how the pitchers pan out. then get a fucking DH for lineup. or get one now and try to contend.

this isn't all bad news because now t.w.O. can focus on important things, such as how molly ringwald did the anthem before today's um sweep in detroit. this is molly from today, along with a certain other fellow who came to mind when wayward O saw molly's picture:



um. that's molly on the right. oh say can you see the resemblance?