divisiOn preview - NL Central
Today's roll came up a five, which, per the piece of paper on Wayward O's desk, means Wayward O shall give you all the haps on intriguing NL Central. Before we do that, Wayward O will ask same damn question he asks every year:
Why are there six teams in this division and only four in the AL West? It's patently unfair. Why does baseball ignore these blatant and glaring issues year-in and year-out? (See steroids). Why don't the Milwaukee Brewers sue the league? Oh wait. Bud Selig is the commish.
With Art Monk finally in the NFL Hall of Fame the above is officially the great remaining sports injustice. And now with out further ado, a question for each team in the NL Central...
CHICAGO CUBS: Testicular torsion. Irregular heartbeats. What weird ailment will strike them next? Wayward O predicts a bout of OCTOBERITIS. There's only one cure. You must get acupuncture with Jeannie Zelasko's chopstick hairpin from Fox set, circa 2005, under a harvest moon in Illinois wheat field where Abe Lincoln once smoked weed. Either that or win World Series.
CINCINNATI REDS: Medium talent everywhere. Depth chart has fan favorite Ryan Freel starting in center field. But papers have him on the trading block. Are the Reds lost at sea in a division with six teams? Yes. Ohhhh yes. This is what Wayward O is talking about.
HOUSTON ASTROS: Doug Brocail broke Miguel Tejada's wrist last year, ending Tejada's impressive iron-man streak. Now they're on same team. Wayward O sees a team that thinks it got better, but which actually got worser. Can Michael Bourn handle center field in a tricky ballpark?
MILWAUKEE BREWERS: They upgraded at catcher last year and allegedly at closer with the addition of Eric Gagne. They are saying this is the year for a playoff run. But they're dealing with some distractions: Prince Fielder's ego, Gagne's flameout in Boston last year and Mike Cameron's 25-game steroid suspension. Will manager Ned Yost survive the season? Wayward O is going to say ... yes. But only if they're sniffing at the Wild Card in September. Wayward O says team's wealth of talent will prevail over wealth of controversy.
PITTSBURGH PIRATES: While Prince Fielder complains in Milwaukee, erstwhile Bucs ace Zach Duke got a pay cut. He's now making the league minimum. Can Matt Morris stabilize rotation and make them respectable? Maybe. But with all the talent and playoff jonesing in this division, Wayward O sees another long summer in Steelertown.
ST. LOUIS CARDINALS: These guys are just weird. And they are weird because they're probably drunk. Right now. Can Rick Ankiel hit 30 home runs and keep the batting average above .270? That will tell the tale.
Predicted Order of Finish:
Cubs
Brewers *
Astros
Cardinals
Reds
Pirates
* wild card contender
Why are there six teams in this division and only four in the AL West? It's patently unfair. Why does baseball ignore these blatant and glaring issues year-in and year-out? (See steroids). Why don't the Milwaukee Brewers sue the league? Oh wait. Bud Selig is the commish.
With Art Monk finally in the NFL Hall of Fame the above is officially the great remaining sports injustice. And now with out further ado, a question for each team in the NL Central...
CHICAGO CUBS: Testicular torsion. Irregular heartbeats. What weird ailment will strike them next? Wayward O predicts a bout of OCTOBERITIS. There's only one cure. You must get acupuncture with Jeannie Zelasko's chopstick hairpin from Fox set, circa 2005, under a harvest moon in Illinois wheat field where Abe Lincoln once smoked weed. Either that or win World Series.
CINCINNATI REDS: Medium talent everywhere. Depth chart has fan favorite Ryan Freel starting in center field. But papers have him on the trading block. Are the Reds lost at sea in a division with six teams? Yes. Ohhhh yes. This is what Wayward O is talking about.
HOUSTON ASTROS: Doug Brocail broke Miguel Tejada's wrist last year, ending Tejada's impressive iron-man streak. Now they're on same team. Wayward O sees a team that thinks it got better, but which actually got worser. Can Michael Bourn handle center field in a tricky ballpark?
MILWAUKEE BREWERS: They upgraded at catcher last year and allegedly at closer with the addition of Eric Gagne. They are saying this is the year for a playoff run. But they're dealing with some distractions: Prince Fielder's ego, Gagne's flameout in Boston last year and Mike Cameron's 25-game steroid suspension. Will manager Ned Yost survive the season? Wayward O is going to say ... yes. But only if they're sniffing at the Wild Card in September. Wayward O says team's wealth of talent will prevail over wealth of controversy.
PITTSBURGH PIRATES: While Prince Fielder complains in Milwaukee, erstwhile Bucs ace Zach Duke got a pay cut. He's now making the league minimum. Can Matt Morris stabilize rotation and make them respectable? Maybe. But with all the talent and playoff jonesing in this division, Wayward O sees another long summer in Steelertown.
ST. LOUIS CARDINALS: These guys are just weird. And they are weird because they're probably drunk. Right now. Can Rick Ankiel hit 30 home runs and keep the batting average above .270? That will tell the tale.
Cubs
Brewers *
Astros
Cardinals
Reds
Pirates
* wild card contender
Labels: 2008 predictiOns
posted by the wayward o at
9:57 AM
1 Comments:
looking forward to the annual Yanqui Whompin......
And the inevitable 12 game Lstreak that seem to invariably follow.
-brO
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