baltimOre

wayward O is delighted to read this morning that 'baltimore' will be back on team's road jerseys. that way everyone will know where orioles are from!

and team won't be retarted anymore, bucking ancient MLB tradition in favor of newbie owner's silly dream of marketing to midlantic region.

thank goodness for this news because listening to 'sweet caroline' playing at yard last night was almost more than wayward o could bear. don't ever say that pete the owner doesn't know how to chase down a dollar.

of course perhaps playing bosox song is a CHALLENGE to team's fans to come to YARD. maybe but wayward o isn't feeling all that conspiratOrial today. anyway it's probably a fine time to AGAIN DEBUNK misnomer so often stated on-air when boston visits balto.: the red sox fans are not coming down from boston. FOR THE LAST TIME, THEY LIVE IN MD/DC AREA AND WORK AT FED. who would want to live in boston?* the pay sucks and the winter lasts until june 15th... but they have lots of GUILT and the ROMANTICIZE boston so they CHANNEL that through BASEBALL TEAM. for more on this please re-visit last year's interlopers post.


here's some sketch-age on team members, based on their performance so far, placed in seven categories:

EXCELLING: big bird, george sherrill, brian roberts, albers

ALMOST BUT NOT QUITE EXCELLING: garrett olson

STREAKY BUT TOTALLY STILL THE MAN: the young savior

HOLDING THEIR OWN: burress, guthrie, melmO, huff, paytOn, sarfate, quirOz, walker, bradfOrd, luke scOtt

GETS PASS FOR ENTIRE SEASON: adam jOnes, jim johnsOn aka young houdini, freebie, luis hernandez

BARELY ADEQUATE: ramOn, cintrOn, cOrmier

BELOW the WATERLINE: millar, trachsel

kevbo, you know wayward O likes ya but damn. you're killing team on basepaths, on defense and on offense. play hard. it's ok. we'll always appreciate what you done for team during lost season.

overall there's so many reasons for hope. and just one or two more upgrades, either from farm or from league, and team will be hitting on at least four cylinderzzzz.

* actually boston ain't so bad, really...