harvey kOrman

actors come and actors go but nobody ever made wayward o laugh like harvey korman.



and here's one more ...



rest in peace.

bOnanza!

terry crowley is redeemed. not just as result of last night's homerfest, but because he apparently

INSPIRED YOUNG SAVIOR

on monday as well.

also there was so much melmOsity in tuesday night/wednesday morning's game!! especially when our melmodramatic third baseman ROLLED OVER HOME PLATE IN 11th with TYING RUN!! Look at the pain! And the suffering:


melmOdrama!
and how many times must aubrey huff come up huge? he has carried team on back the last couple of ... well really since season began.

and how many times will you see a 4-2-5 double play? alex rodriguez said after game the brian roberts was "lucky" to snag his hot shot to second base. maybe, but he made the play. you know who didn't make a play? derek jeter. he was asleep between second and third and didn't get over in time.

as gary thorne said after alex cintron's winning hit, "an amazing night."


also we have a special diaspOra post to add to day's amazing news!


from the Daily News
name: fabOlous
location: miami
gear choice: looks like an orange ornithologically correct team cap
status: possible Os fan, though searches show he wears many hats
quote: unavailable
wayward o says: you know bird is ascendant when hipster rappers are getting on board!

funny, like the Offense itself

we've all heard the weaver rant, right? so how did it bleed into a live yankee broadcast?




(via some other blogs)

wayward O isn't 100% sure this actually happened. but fairly sure. 92% sure. did anyone actually witness this?

watch your back, crow. earl was joking when he recorded the rant but your job status ain't funny right now.

destrOying a game

when wayward O goes on team blogs today and reads fans saying team shouldn't be mad about last night's umpiring because they're not scoring enough runs, he simply can't believe his eyes.

are fans suggesting team should win 8-0 every night? for the love of god that's not baseball! baseball is supposed to be taut. and the sport is set up to allow teams to come through in clutch. which is exactly what aub. did last night. and his performance was swept away by a capricious umpire.

and many orioles fans blithely discount it --- because team didn't already have a bunch of runs?

disgusting. what kind of fans are these, anyway?

the only last question remaining about last night's disgusting display of umpiring in tampa bay is: was it done purposefully? and the evidence leads wayward O to a disturbing conclusion: yes, it very possibly was. look especially at image no. 3 and you'll see why.


1. Aubrey comes up big. You can see
the ball in fair territory. It's the white
smudge to right of first baseman.


2. Another look. Ball clearly,
and I mean CLEARLY fair.


3. Umpire Ed Hickox looking directly at
fair ball, signalling foul. John Shelby
giving Aubrey the sign to run.


4. Aubrey can't believe the call.
AND WHY SHOULD HE?


5. TrembO and Aubrey argue their case.


6. The guilty party stands alone.

Here's the video, too.

All that said, Wayward O still isn't a fan of replay. What's going to happen? Aubrey is going to keep running, Tampa Defenders aren't going to play the ball. Aubrey is going to run all the way to home plate? And the game is going to be delayed a half hour and melt down into a giant mess.

No. Wayward O wants some umpires who know their jobs and aren't blind and stupid.

measuring melmOsity

Wayward O blew 45% of 2008 capital budget hiring SCIENCE EDITOR but expense has PAID OFF as we have determined crucial new calculus for determining Melmo's Mental States. Measuring Melmosity, it turns out, is as easy as counting Melmonions in Melmo's BLOOD STREAM. Third baseman's Melmonian count seems to vary as a direct result of team's on-field performance, which is a GOOD THING.



Science editor is VERY EXCITED TO BEGIN REGULAR READINGS but regrets only that we LACK BASELINE from:

• playoff days with Mets
• 2005 meltdOwn

that notwithstanding, we press on in name of discovery!

Recently, while dreaming of playoffs, a sleeping Melmo's Melmonion count spiked above 138 but soon returned to normal Melmonian levels upon waking. Currently, science editor suspects 83-level reflects overall excitement about team but some trepidation after being nipped by Nats on GETAWAY DAY and upcoming trip to YANKEE STADIUM.

eight bucks fOr what?

Wayward O urges diaspora to read this revealing article in today's Daily News:

Secret Papers Show How Yankees Became Richest Team in Sports

fascinating.

now if you want to argue about how Yankees are ... um ... basically raping New York City to tune of hundreds of millions, you can, for sure. counter argument would go along these lines: Yankees bring uncounted revenue back to city by creating other streams of revenue besides just rent on Stadium. like for example, just think about MIKE MUSSINA'S TAXES!

mOre fun

"I slid for it and had it in my glove,
but my knee hit the glove and it came out"
- Dustin Pedroia

CHOKER! NO FLAG!!!




- AP

LUCKY CATCH! ONE FLAG!!!




- via Enchanting Sunshine

PUMMELED, BOOTED! TWO FLAGS!!!*




- Balt. Sun

GRAND SLAM! SIX FLAGS!!!





* though Wayward O does not personally engage in or condone such behavior, he can't deny sometimes it feels good see justice dispensed

time heals all wOunds

some clutch hits.

some clanky mitts.

some orioles MAGIC from YOUNG HOUDINI sometimes known as JIM JOHNSON!

some FLAT BRIMS!


sOlidarity
what a difference a year makes!

note to jim palmer: those fans were saying "luuuuuke." um. after luuuuke's home run. no sabe? palmer groused on MASN "you've got a lot of red sox fans booing" as scott circled bases last night.

safe at hOme

hola amigos. i know it's been a long time since i rapped at ya, but wayward O's been a little under the weather lately.


ACL Reconstruction
Using Patellar Tendon
Bone Tendon Autograft

wayward O got a new acl friday. so far so good.

now ... be honest, you would have gladly took .500 upon team's return from 10-game road trip. sure we got healthy on kansas city BBQ, but hey a win's a win.

there sure were a lot of orioles flying in an out of the kc airport this week with all the roster changes. freddy bynum is da man and his pure love of the game and joy of playing is inspirational.

welcOme news

HEY THAT'S FREEBIE!!!!!!!!


Up in Yer Big Leagues
Throwin you OUT!
HE WILL SAVE US, B'GOLLY! Two for two so far!!


Playmaka Control!
Such a good day for Os fanz!

the lOsing streak in which we find us

is it wayward O or is hillary clinton like the random dude at the sunday barbeque who won't go home even though it's 10 p.m. and everybody has to, like, work in the morning? HEY MAN UM should i go on a beer run? uhhhh ... i dunno maaaan. it looks like things are kind of tapped for tonite. don't be that guy hillary. it's laaaaame. we all know you don't have much to go home to but still.

anyway, wayward O did not come here to shout today. or to throw anybody under the bus. or even to point out that may, our cruel mistress, is upon us like a pack of wolves.

no.

nor did wayward o come here today to point out that team lost 5 straight after very promising win on first game of road trip vs. Ol Man Vladdy and his merry band of Angels. and he did not come here to point out that a bunch of those losses were 1-run losses in which team's poor play was crucial factor.

no, today Wayward O is merely content with the sight of a blooming flower; and the miracle of a puppy at play. the sweet warmth of the spring sunshine gives Wayward O great optimism and he sees good things to come, not just for team but for entire world...


Uhhhh.... what?
oh. sorry butt-head. i didn't mean that. uh. yeah. so here is some ANALYSIS of team for you, to help cut through the misery and see the "whys" and "hOw comes" ... etc.:

ANALYTICAL POINT NUMBER ONE: About all this baserunning business. TrembO gave a revealing answer on yesterday's "Wired Wednesday" segment. He basically has told team to be aggressive and is leaving it to the players to use their "instinct" to make decisions. This is probably a good philosophy for a rebuild team. Guys need to learn how to deal with certain situations. Meanwhile, it's clear other teams in majors now know Orioles are going to be targets on base-paths because they've been told to push. At some point TrembO is going to have to get a handle on the steady green light and manage certain situations -- and certain guys -- from the dugout.

ANALYTICAL POINT NUMBER TWO: The offense lacks exactly one cleanup hitter, which presumably would be the DH/1B guy at some point. A powerful catalyst in heart of lineup would be a blessing for the Aubreys, the Lukes, the Brians, the Adams and the Melvins who are struggling to find themselves at the plate. We have plenty of singles and doubles guys but no home run threat. Ideally you have at least two legitimate HR threats in four/five holes. The Young Savior is probably one of those guys. Who's the other? In short, the Os keep bringing pea shooters to the gunfight. (OK, see rebuilding. But we needed same last year too.) It's getting old.


NOW PRETTY PLEASE
WITH SUGAR ON TOP
SIGN A F*CKIN DH
lapsed into some weird inner harvey keitel zone there for a minute. happy thoughts .... happy thoughts .... we coulda had carlos lee .... happy thoughts. calm, rebuilding for ten years happy thoughts.

ANALYTICAL POINT NUMBER THREE: overall though, it's fun watching the young guys, even luis hernandez, who may --- MAY -- not be the answer at short but we'll see. he's so youthful, so beautifully clueless sometimes -- but you get the feeling that he one day could be a great defensive and occasionally offensive spark for team. what can wayward O say? wayward O likes the guy. the young pitchers and other doods are fun to watch, even if they're sometimes outmatched.

ANALYTICAL POINT NUMBER FOUR: Every Orioles announcer except Fred Manfra is drunk. Which probably isn't such a bad thing. Did you know Manfra is ten feet tall?

ANALYTICAL POINT NUMBER FIVE: What's the perfect cure for what ails us? SOME KANSAS CITY BBQ!

Con queso por favor.

new rule, nO styling

trembO weighs in on ramOns jamOn-headed, um, home run trot from the other day, saying

"[I]t's not acceptable with me, it's not acceptable with what we're trying to
do, or the direction we're trying to go." - from the WashPo

yeah, bruh. not cooooooooool.

WHO ARE WE THROWING UNDER BUS TODAY?
Kevin Millar.
DESERVEDLY SO?
Yeah, kinda. Lack of production on top of glaring mistakes in last night's loss.

of course, some hysterical Os bloggers are throwing whole team under bus today.


We're lost! Lossssttt!
premature. anyway, good pitching is much tougher to find, build than good hitting. that's a huge plus for team if Olson can join Burres, Big Bird and St. Guts and make quality starts on regular basis.

incidentally, we need nickname for Burres. anyone? anyone?

PS. and apparently the Wing Man, aka Adam Loewen, has no serious arm problems!

cringewOrthy

if there is something in game of baseball more embarrassing than thinking you hit home run, not knowing where ball is, slapping fives with the first base coach, and then getting thrown out styling on basepaths because you in fact did not hit home run, please let wayward O know what that would be...

letting ball bounce off your head for home run (jose canseco), telling everybody you are a vietnam vet and getting kicked off team for it (that blue jays manager guy), failing to touch second base and costing your team a playoff berth (fred merkle), letting ball go under your legs and losing world series (bill buckner) and possibly one or two other gaffes could presumably be seen as more embarrassing.

but the list is clearly short.

today wayward O is starting a brand new feature. after every O's loss, fickle fan base is guaranteed to throw at least one player under bus whether they deserve it or not. so, without further ado:

WHO ARE WE THROWING UNDER BUS TODAY?
ramOn & steve trachsel

melvin is mOst ill and he's buntin' and stealin'

"I don't like that Rally Monkey."
--rallymelmO

do how you do.

say how you say.

bunt how you bunt.

steal third with two outs how you steal third with two outs.

just get guthrie his winz!

in other important news, we're kind of retiring the ESSKAY MEAT SURVEY, though you may still mull over and change vote! in an UPSET, MEAT flavored MEAT is most popular flavor of meat!!!

team is on FOX today? though not in nyc because of dumb mets. go BIG BIRD!!!

that Ol man vladdy

oh lawzy lawzy just three days ago wayward O was pretty sure team was HEADING FOR FALL CLASSIC but then ....

metaphOr for last two gamez
tampa bay whomped us but good. tampa bay is good team? incidentally you know who is not good team? yankees. wayward O watches them a lot here in big city and he can assure you: much-hyped young pitchers are junk except for the big, fat one jabba the hut or what his name is.

yankees should have pulled trigger on johan santana. OOOOOOooooopsie!

anyway wayward O digresses. remember how anaheim right fielder uses team for personal piñata? it's too bad team didn't steal yesterday's game because team must contend with tough roadstand now and we hope they come home over .500.

GO TEAM BEAT ANGLES!