bOring text entry

just a couple four thingers this morning.

• good story in washpo about trade aspirations -- mlb teams no longer look to Os as dopey trade deadline palookas. Os have nice core and will ask for real value
• aubrey huff is golden deity, tied with alex r. in home runs but aub. had game-winner last nite and a-rod had a boo boo on his arm
• the ascension of daniel "big bird gotham" cabrera is reawakening like the c'thulu ... FACE THE THING THAT SHOULD NOT BE!
• kevin millar is wayward o's daddy
• robinson cano is a surly jerk who strikes out in big spots
• the tex trade makes it 6.3% LESS LIKELY he'll ever come to baltimore. current odds of team signing local boy stand at 12.45%. O's will offer carlos lee money; someone else will offer slightly less than a-rod money. in maryland we teach our kids to not give away $50 million just you know because maryland is so nice ... or do we? time will tell

dennis sarfate gets ball at 1 p.m. in da bronnix today. is sweep too much to ask? probably...

diaspOra, part 8

name: unknown
location: section 34 main, left field, near monument park, during last night's epic drubbing
status: Os fan


Ink.
gear of choice: vintage oriole bird tattoo on right lower leg
quote: i love 'em [the O's]
wayward o says: HEY CANO, IT'S 11-0, SWING THE BAT!

such a bad, bad comedOwn

wayward o has been sort of bouncing around a lot lately. first there was a beach trip in which amazing feats involving flipping quarters into cup were witnessed...



lots of yelling. but truth was on field of play! just like team! for example:

• tired kevin millar can't play entire season
• young rOte can't play entire season
• tired ramOn can't play entire season

conclusion: team should find guys who don't get tired in july. do yankees get tired in july?

also team is probably completely at wit's end about what to do with BIG BIRD. make him a closer except against kansas city? who knows anymore? the fear persists that, if traded, he'll becoem a perennial 20-game winner for somebody else. this feeds into fear that organizational issues have created a feedback loop of shittiness that now regenerates itself based on its own gravitational force.

maybe not though. apparently next week the time-honored tv show This Week in Baseball will feature team and praise rebuild effort.

also there are rumors that SUPER BLOGGER ROCK OBAMA-QUE will be leaving SUNPAPER. he does not deny it. will he take perch next to DARK MEDIA LORD KEN ROSENTHAL on national TV soon? perhaps peddling weakly sourced rumors about AROD'S NEXT MOVE? wayward o thinks not ... the man seens to know where ground is at all times.

meanwhile fan interest in team is flagging right on queue. over on the camden chats they didn't even bother to post game thread because everybody knew old man vladdy was going to kick team's ass. and then only 16 posts on belated lame thread? oh well. it's like beach time. and also rock concert and restaurant time...



This is Ween.
You should see them.
So for now we kind of halfway tune in. Wayward O will say last night's game featured a SUPER PREMIUM EPISODE OF MELMOSITY HOWEVER .... with one out in BOTTOM OF EIGHTH ....


MEMLO GET UP MEMLO
DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN!
Maybe we'll rise up and put together fun winning streak at some point before season's final death rattle sets in.

flOwchart

wayward o loves team more than almost everything in world except for following things:

• family & friends
• dip n dotz
• potato chips

anyway it made wayward o very sad that wayward o called team "pants crappers" and then left up nasty remarks at top of blog throughout entire all-star break even after flatbrim acquitted himself and team very proudly in all star summer classic.

so and then wayward o starting thinking ... thinking ... tossing and turning ... trying to come to grips with own shame of yelling at beloved team despite love for team and so wayward o devised following chart to properly express feelingz:

See? Not all that complicated.

anyway wayward o apologizes to team for being mad. and he's going to beach to drink beer and relax. good luck, team! xoxo

ps. beat detriot. kick pudge where da sun don't shine.

return Of the pants crappers

let's recap last week, shall we?

team pulls into 3rd place on 4 july with win over texas. team looks at standings, craps pants, and goes on to lose 5 straight, each loss more hideous than last.

meanwhile other teams in AL East begin going in their accustomed direction; when pressure builds, they start winning.

not our beloved birds though. to be fair our birds are overmatched in the talent department this year: our rote is two solids and three drunks we pulled off broadway after closing time. our bullpen is wracked by injuries. our defense is a couple young stars and two solid vets picking their way through a tangle of driftwood.

wayward o guesses this must be what everyone -- and wayward o means EVERYONE -- predicted going into lost season.

but why must it come on heels of such promise, during SOFT SPOT in schedule prior to all-star break? why indeed friends.

wayward o concludes that pain of past five games simply FEELS WORSE because it comes in STARK RELIEF to pleasure of exceeding expectations for several months.

well team goes to boston and faces buchholz, wakefield and matzusaka before all-star break. these guys are beatable.

maybe diaspora will be favored with more exceeding of expectations and less heartbreak but if team drops red sox series or is swept you can expect free-for-all spiral with tenbagger losing streaks galore going into home stretch.

and if your name isn't guthrie, markakis or jones you might be headed somewhere else.

now if we could only drug rick dempsey and tie him to the bottom of a 747 heading for .... anywhere so long as it's on the far side of a major ocean ... wayward o could probably stomach rest of lOst season in peace. dempsey should be fired immediately. first of all he's incompetent and second of all he thinks it's funny when team loses.

tire tracks acrOss their backs...

diaspora is throwing many team members under bus today:

1) freddy the bee. level of justification: 58.4%. freddy the bee just put a gaping hole in hull of his major league career with last night's boot. but team's poor play put him in a bad spot to begin with. still, bye-bye isn't showing major league talent with on-field performance. also, terrible camera work in toronto ... very hard to see boot and no replay. WFffT?

2) ramOn. level of justification: 68.1%. hideous throwing error in 7th and just general shittiness seems to pervade his on-field performance sometimes. he's supposed to be a team leader. he's no kid like bye-bye.

3) trembO. level of justification: 6%. sure. fine. blame trem for pulling fahey, who's been hot, for a pinch hitter, jay payton, who had a terrible at-bat. remind manager that payton is a notorious whiner who often sulks in pinch-hitting and other off-the-bench situations. but dave's been doing it all year and often it's worked. fahey and bye-bye are pretty much interchangeable anyway. very hard to blame trembley but you can do it if you try real hard. on side note, trembley's leadership will become more and more crucial as season winds down and team starts limpin' and duckin'.

4) sarfate. level of justification: 4%. hard to blame him. it's sad team has lost matt albers, who was the glue between mid-innings and late innings. sarfate is likely to be more of a situational guy down the road, wayward o will wager.

a couple reasons for hOpe: big bird's ascension continues apace; no more talk of st. guts behing the hard luck loser, please. and maybe this new lefty, alberto castillo, can provide spark for pitching staff.

american league player Of the week

.345 BA for week of 7/6

bombtrack
fickle fanz forgive AUBREY HUFF because AUBREY HUFF LOVES AMERICA


Balt. Sun Photo
take it out on yankeeraysox!

thOughts

wayward o left for n'awlins. freddy the bee was sent down. wayward o came back from n'awlins. freddy the bee came back up. freddy the bee had 3 ribs yesterday and i'm not talking about spare ribs. although it's entirely possible that freddy the bee had some spare ribs as well as baseball ribs. how can this team be 3-over .500 on july 5 given its glaring holes? leadership, that's how. trembO and macphail get massive props and the owner even gets a golf clap for staying out of the way (so far).

which leads wayward o to this david eckstein bizness. no. no to eckstein. wayward o has enjoyed watching the eck play hard over last ten years or so for other teams and it's nice he has his world series MVP deal to look back on when he's old. there's no doubt he's a gamer and he is a credit to MLB. but it's not what team needs. it smacks of what team would have done before it committed to rebuilding. the answer is freddy the bee. let him play. let him suck on occasion. but let him play. it's part of the chemistry, somehow.

same was true of luis luis actually.

but the trade deadline is coming and diaspOra is buzzing. who will go? who will stay? who will not go? who will not stay? lots of folks want to see aubrey get traded for prospects. wayward o does not. lots of folks want to see flatbrim get traded ... wayward o is ok with that but he will be sad if it happens. lots of folks want to see memlo get traded ... ain't gonna happen. lots of folks want to see jay payton or luke scott move to a contender for prospects ... yes please! pull the trigger!

at least two MLB players -- josh hamilton in baltimore and coco crisp in new york's yankee stadium -- were seen REPLACING OUTFIELD DIVOTS yesterday after sliding catches*. was there a secret MLB memo about replacing divots? how do such notions come into fashion after hundred years of neglect?

this is ridiculous. games like this should serve as a warning to baseball people who want to continue expansion. are there any of those?

that is all. please hit wayward o with your brilliant baseball musings in comments area and in addition, enjoy those leftovers.

* yes, coco's catch was legit despite ongoing attempt by baseball umpires to f&ck over anybody who plays yankees.

team interns are pOlite but penniless

this email exchange will SHOCK BASEBALL WORLD:

2 July 10:36 a.m.
to: Wayward O
from: team intern
Hi.
I am currently updating our email contacts list and I wanted to make sure that this is still your current email address. If you could please email the Baltimore Orioles PR Department back at this address: [redacted] and confirm that this is still your current email ... that would be very helpful.
Thank you and have a pleasant day.
[redacted]
PR Intern


2 July 6:01 p.m.
to: team intern
from: Wayward O
Hello [redacted].
Yes, this is correct e-mail address of Wayward O.How are you today? Do you get free Dip n Dotz as MLB intern?
All the Best,
-- t.w.o.


2 July 6:53 p.m.
to: Wayward O
from: team intern
i'm good. thank you for your response. no, unfortunately, to the free dip n dots.


3 July 8:42 a.m.
to: team intern
from: Wayward O
I urge you to hold out for free Dip n Dotz. Think of future interns! Viva la Revolucion!

imagine TOILING AWAY in summer heat knowing delicious cold treat is available on ALL CONCOURSES and yet not having FUNDS to AVAIL ONESELF! pure torture. everybody knows dip n dot prices FLUCTUATE with other commodities such as BRENT CRUDE and COTTON CANDY.

sidney is the tunguska cOmet

june 30, 1908 --> july 3, 2008

so much CONTEXTUAL REPERCUSSIONS

the ascensiOn finds the rails again

it kind of feels like early july -- you know, when things kind of hit the flat highway and teams' true natures become a reliable fact -- but trust wayward o many things are happening in world of baseball.

for example, many players in recent games have leapt in the air in attempts to catch fly balls, with varying degrees of art and success. here are three examples:

LEAP No. 1

Joey Gathright goes wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy up,
saves home run but Young Savior still gets ribby triple.
LEAP No. 2

Balt. Sun Photo
This photo is a tad misleading.
Aubrey is actually flying downward from upper deck and lighting upon the infield with grace of sparrow.

LEAP No. 3

In this triple-action still, a feral Brionius Robertsinous is seen in wild leaping twenty feet in air to snare prey.
in addition to these leaps, which you may critique in designated comments area below, the ascensiOn of BIG BIRD came back with fury last night after a june hiatus. who would begrudge a man a few weeks off in june? daniel's complete game gem was rewarded by VERY EMO MANANGER with BEAR HUG and that's what makes baseball world go around not BIG FREE AGENT CONTRACTS.


Another awesome photo from awesome Balt. Sun!
this is not to be confused with this photo, which wayward o cannot study enough ....


The beady eyes, the slack jaw...
a portrait of the greek ideal of dumbness. not just a dumb act. not just a dim wit. not just a failure to learn. but an all-encompassing, all-consuming gravitational forcefield of dumb from which no man can look away. avert your eyes, children!