return Of the pants crappers

let's recap last week, shall we?

team pulls into 3rd place on 4 july with win over texas. team looks at standings, craps pants, and goes on to lose 5 straight, each loss more hideous than last.

meanwhile other teams in AL East begin going in their accustomed direction; when pressure builds, they start winning.

not our beloved birds though. to be fair our birds are overmatched in the talent department this year: our rote is two solids and three drunks we pulled off broadway after closing time. our bullpen is wracked by injuries. our defense is a couple young stars and two solid vets picking their way through a tangle of driftwood.

wayward o guesses this must be what everyone -- and wayward o means EVERYONE -- predicted going into lost season.

but why must it come on heels of such promise, during SOFT SPOT in schedule prior to all-star break? why indeed friends.

wayward o concludes that pain of past five games simply FEELS WORSE because it comes in STARK RELIEF to pleasure of exceeding expectations for several months.

well team goes to boston and faces buchholz, wakefield and matzusaka before all-star break. these guys are beatable.

maybe diaspora will be favored with more exceeding of expectations and less heartbreak but if team drops red sox series or is swept you can expect free-for-all spiral with tenbagger losing streaks galore going into home stretch.

and if your name isn't guthrie, markakis or jones you might be headed somewhere else.

now if we could only drug rick dempsey and tie him to the bottom of a 747 heading for .... anywhere so long as it's on the far side of a major ocean ... wayward o could probably stomach rest of lOst season in peace. dempsey should be fired immediately. first of all he's incompetent and second of all he thinks it's funny when team loses.

thOughts

wayward o left for n'awlins. freddy the bee was sent down. wayward o came back from n'awlins. freddy the bee came back up. freddy the bee had 3 ribs yesterday and i'm not talking about spare ribs. although it's entirely possible that freddy the bee had some spare ribs as well as baseball ribs. how can this team be 3-over .500 on july 5 given its glaring holes? leadership, that's how. trembO and macphail get massive props and the owner even gets a golf clap for staying out of the way (so far).

which leads wayward o to this david eckstein bizness. no. no to eckstein. wayward o has enjoyed watching the eck play hard over last ten years or so for other teams and it's nice he has his world series MVP deal to look back on when he's old. there's no doubt he's a gamer and he is a credit to MLB. but it's not what team needs. it smacks of what team would have done before it committed to rebuilding. the answer is freddy the bee. let him play. let him suck on occasion. but let him play. it's part of the chemistry, somehow.

same was true of luis luis actually.

but the trade deadline is coming and diaspOra is buzzing. who will go? who will stay? who will not go? who will not stay? lots of folks want to see aubrey get traded for prospects. wayward o does not. lots of folks want to see flatbrim get traded ... wayward o is ok with that but he will be sad if it happens. lots of folks want to see memlo get traded ... ain't gonna happen. lots of folks want to see jay payton or luke scott move to a contender for prospects ... yes please! pull the trigger!

at least two MLB players -- josh hamilton in baltimore and coco crisp in new york's yankee stadium -- were seen REPLACING OUTFIELD DIVOTS yesterday after sliding catches*. was there a secret MLB memo about replacing divots? how do such notions come into fashion after hundred years of neglect?

this is ridiculous. games like this should serve as a warning to baseball people who want to continue expansion. are there any of those?

that is all. please hit wayward o with your brilliant baseball musings in comments area and in addition, enjoy those leftovers.

* yes, coco's catch was legit despite ongoing attempt by baseball umpires to f&ck over anybody who plays yankees.

hOvering

wayward o is back from n'awlins. he knows all city's hot spots now. first off is MAPLE LEAF bar go there on a TUESDAY NIGHT and you will meet RABBIT the bouncer. he is OLD FRIEND and POKER BUDDY of NEWLY SIGNED ORIOLE RYAN O'SHEA. those louisiana boys can play some hardball. on tuesday night you will also hear REBIRTH BRASS BAND. those fellers can honk.

this is special picture of french quarter at night time. what is so rare as night in june? AN ORIOLE SUNDAY WIN, THAT'S WHAT!



N'Awlins
also wayward o met a famous RUGBY PLAYER ... daragh hurley from the munster, ireland team. a nicer guy you shall not meet. he was hanging around with a very pretty lady at THE WORLD FAMOUS APPLE BARREL on frenchman street which is BEST BAR IN WORLD.

here are THREE RESTAURANTS at which you MUST EAT if you go dere:

• BAYONA,
• JACQUES IMOS
• and DICK and JENNY'S

... tell 'em the Wayward O sent ya! (and that won't mean anything but it will be random and funny.)

team seemed to hover just above .500 for last week or so ... nice series win vs. cubbies. lacking direction is a good thing especially when direction is DOWN. yesterday was a let-down but it happens georgie boy. shake it off.

very much looking forward to tonight's game and quiet night with baseball. also wayward O will eat nothing but CARROT STICKS for a few weeks until ADDED BACKFAT from TRIP TO BIG EASY is GONE.

this, that and the Other...

wayward o doesn't consider it to be a comeback unless team comes back at least twice and, more aptly, thrice.

also there was so much melmOsity at yard last night. it was as if a melmostic weather front set in and held sway over all things!

and nick markakis can't hit with two strikes. why is that? but he can hit with every other amount of strikes. perhaps it is something that ... um ... er ... a COACH might want to address?

we have some very special posts in pipeline but traveling is cutting into blog schedule. so for now just words. boring, boring words. but lately there has been SO MUCH TRAFFIC and SO MUCH COMMENTS on site! this makes wayward o's heart very full with melmoliciousness and also feels as if one too many boog sandwiches was eaten. but please keep 'em coming and tell wayward o what is what! preferably also do so after several frosty beverages have loosed your TRUE THOUGHTS on crucial matters such as whether Oscar Salazar could beat Kevin Millar at Wii arm-wrestling!

also wayward o will finally make it to yard tonight! this means team will lose 2-1. or something. no wait, they will win! no wait they will ... I DON'T KNOW! anyway it has been long road since knee operation and it's nice to be getting on track.

ps. how did yamkeys get to be five games over .500? it matters not.

Open thread

wayward O is enjoying team's road trip, working on new melmOmeter reading and also preparing fresh MLB-wide post. but wayward O works slowly and also is distracted by soccer at moment. what's on your mind today?

11:48 a.m. update: apparently eric bedard took himself out of a 1-1 game up in boston yesterday having thrown 99 pitches and rumor has it the seattles might be shopping him ahead of the july deadline.

rOster changes

these two .gifs kind of remind wayward o of luis hernandez' time in majors this year:




each portrays a child, unaware of true depths of surroundings, beset by ill fOrtune and yet doggedly attempting to persist, survive, and even smile.

luis' struggles are metaphor for sad beauty of life's rich pageant. and also his failures open door for freddy the bee. who is awesomer than an august cumulonimbus cloud about to shake the chesapeake to its core.

speaking of awesome portent, this note, in balto. sun, is the larger truth as lost season continues apace:

With rookie reliever Jim Johnson winning Monday night against the Boston Red
Sox [and Radhames Liz' win Tuesday night], the Orioles had pitchers earn their first major league victories in consecutive games for the first time since Sept. 1-2, 1978, when Dave Ford and Sammy Stewart beat the Chicago White Sox on back-to-back nights, according to the Elias Sports Bureau.

our time is coming, friends. our time is coming.

baltimOre

wayward O is delighted to read this morning that 'baltimore' will be back on team's road jerseys. that way everyone will know where orioles are from!

and team won't be retarted anymore, bucking ancient MLB tradition in favor of newbie owner's silly dream of marketing to midlantic region.

thank goodness for this news because listening to 'sweet caroline' playing at yard last night was almost more than wayward o could bear. don't ever say that pete the owner doesn't know how to chase down a dollar.

of course perhaps playing bosox song is a CHALLENGE to team's fans to come to YARD. maybe but wayward o isn't feeling all that conspiratOrial today. anyway it's probably a fine time to AGAIN DEBUNK misnomer so often stated on-air when boston visits balto.: the red sox fans are not coming down from boston. FOR THE LAST TIME, THEY LIVE IN MD/DC AREA AND WORK AT FED. who would want to live in boston?* the pay sucks and the winter lasts until june 15th... but they have lots of GUILT and the ROMANTICIZE boston so they CHANNEL that through BASEBALL TEAM. for more on this please re-visit last year's interlopers post.


here's some sketch-age on team members, based on their performance so far, placed in seven categories:

EXCELLING: big bird, george sherrill, brian roberts, albers

ALMOST BUT NOT QUITE EXCELLING: garrett olson

STREAKY BUT TOTALLY STILL THE MAN: the young savior

HOLDING THEIR OWN: burress, guthrie, melmO, huff, paytOn, sarfate, quirOz, walker, bradfOrd, luke scOtt

GETS PASS FOR ENTIRE SEASON: adam jOnes, jim johnsOn aka young houdini, freebie, luis hernandez

BARELY ADEQUATE: ramOn, cintrOn, cOrmier

BELOW the WATERLINE: millar, trachsel

kevbo, you know wayward O likes ya but damn. you're killing team on basepaths, on defense and on offense. play hard. it's ok. we'll always appreciate what you done for team during lost season.

overall there's so many reasons for hope. and just one or two more upgrades, either from farm or from league, and team will be hitting on at least four cylinderzzzz.

* actually boston ain't so bad, really...

time heals all wOunds

some clutch hits.

some clanky mitts.

some orioles MAGIC from YOUNG HOUDINI sometimes known as JIM JOHNSON!

some FLAT BRIMS!


sOlidarity
what a difference a year makes!

note to jim palmer: those fans were saying "luuuuuke." um. after luuuuke's home run. no sabe? palmer groused on MASN "you've got a lot of red sox fans booing" as scott circled bases last night.

safe at hOme

hola amigos. i know it's been a long time since i rapped at ya, but wayward O's been a little under the weather lately.


ACL Reconstruction
Using Patellar Tendon
Bone Tendon Autograft

wayward O got a new acl friday. so far so good.

now ... be honest, you would have gladly took .500 upon team's return from 10-game road trip. sure we got healthy on kansas city BBQ, but hey a win's a win.

there sure were a lot of orioles flying in an out of the kc airport this week with all the roster changes. freddy bynum is da man and his pure love of the game and joy of playing is inspirational.

clearinghOuse

so, about last night....

*(bad-da-bUM)*

seriously folks ... did anybody get number of that truck? it had canadian plates.

but here is silver lining: adam jOnes went yard and erik bedard went on DL. bedard really is a wuss. he takes himself out of more games than any professional athlete in history. wayward O is beginning to suspect that bedard has an abiding dislike for humanity and simply wants to take money and run.

flatbrim has 6 saves. which smart guy called arrival of george sherrill the "most under-rated and under-hyped player in erik bedard trade hype fiasco"? oh it was me, Wayward O.

you are welcome. here are some other things that are true:

-- baltimore has low-ish payroll and good young talent. there is no reason to wait on signing a blue-chip cleanup hitter. that is canyon-sized gaping hole in orioles current makeup. and no luke scott is not answer. he's a guy who protects cleanup hitter, not a 4-man himself.

-- wayward O understands why trembO is sticking with luis hernandez. despite foibles, he plays the game right.

-- there is much talent in the American League and orioles have barely tasted it yet. going back to the cleanup hitter lamentations: without one, we're going to get our doors blown off in a lot of games this year.

-- melvin mora is showing characteristic flashes of brilliance mixed with selfish tendencies on the basepaths but hasn't blatantly bunted or run team out of an inning .... yet. he will save that for july when team "needs a spark." heheh. melmo. remember when we all wanted melmo to get his payday? you know you did too...

-- brian roberts thinks he's king of hill right now. you can see it on his face every time he steals second. but brian is useless as a hitter with runners in scoring. he lacks focus at the plate in RISP situations. if he's going to be a top-tier second baseman a la robby cano or chase utley, he's got to do more with the bat.

-- it's becoming abundantly clear why brewers waived greg aquino.

-- did i mention our lack of cleanup hitter?

that is all. have nice spring day!

will may be Our cruel mistress?

wayward brO is wayward O's bro. he lives in CATONSVILLE. in 1994 he got a RAFAEL PALMEIRO jersey for birthday. wayward brO enjoys days at the beach, thunderstorms and playing TDK CASSETTES of JOE and JON from BETTER DAYS.

wayward brO was crunching the numbers into wee hours last night. because wayward brO is not merely content to enjoy april gifts. he, like most of diaspOra, figures team will regress back to -- and ultimately well under -- baseball's mean. here's what he came up with...

April W-L -----> May W-L
'97: 16-7 -----> 36-15
'98: 14-13 -----> 25-30
'99: 6-16 -----> 19-31
'00: 14-10 -----> 23-27
'01: 12-14 -----> 24-28
'02: 12-14 -----> 24-28
'03: 13-12 -----> 27-27
'04: 12-9 -----> 24-23
'05: 16-7 -----> 31-20
'06: 13-13 -----> 25-28
'07: 12-14 -----> 27-27
totals: 140-129 (.520) -----> 285-284 (.501)

"They're doin' it again."
but wayward O thinks there may be key differences this season, which might pOrtend something different. here they are:

KEY DIFFERENCE NO. 1: dave trembley is good manager. he will make sure team doesn't get too tard out.

KEY DIFFERENCE NO. 2: andy macphail seems to have found a nice balance of players this year. there are essentially three types of player on team: YOUNG GUYS, OLD GUYS and BRIAN ROBERTS.

looking at brO's numbaz, wayward O is starting to hope team can avoid a may disaster a la the '00 and '07 vintages; and avoid june doom as happened in the '05 collapse.

but pretty much everyone doubts team can pull off something like the '97 wire to wire year.

maybe that leaves us somewhere in the middle. maybe team can maintain composure, weather bad stretches, and yield something like the '89 why nOt team, which played meaningful games all year and made us proud.

in any event, i think we can all agree april wins > april losses no matter what happens rest of year!

sO, this is fun!

team is playing april games and winning.

will happy feelings continue when hordes of boston and new york fanz descend on camden from the north (like Orcs from Mordor) to remind diaspOra of lost decade?

maybe. maybe not.

meanwhile here are six things we've seen during first week:

thing one: trembO cares and he can manage and it seems he asks for -- and gets -- a "team first" ethic from club.

thing two: aubrey huff can hit and he is dangerous.

thing three: much like aubrey huff, luis hernandez draws much fan ire, but today he came though in clutch, big time.

thing four: brian roberts got cut down three times in one game between 3rd and home on saturday night. the first time he was safe; ump made a bad call but it was really close. the second time juan samuel waved him home on a misplay by seattle; roberts should not have been waved home there as there was only one out. the third time he got caught in a rundown on a squibber by nick markakis on a "go on contact from third" play with one out. i doubt you'll ever see that again in a game ... some guys go a whole year without making an out at 3rd base. yet none of them were really roberts' fault. just one of those things that make each game unique.

thing five: after game saturday night, george sherrill explained flat brim on cap. he told fred manfra "i just leave [the hat] the way they gave it to me." sherrill seems to fit in well with some of the doods on club like millar and huff.

thing six: luke scott is firing this april. wayward O may have to take back regret that tike redman did not make team.

have nice evening everybody. and let's hope daniel cabrera can lower his 13.50 era tomorrow!

befOre and after

wayward O has been talking about lost season for couple weeks now. and in process of doing so has been for some time looking for GRAPHICAL REPRESENTATION to ILLUSTRATE how team of today will be transformed tomorrow.

wayward O also likes polar bears very much and he was reading story about knut and he found picture that proves that KNUT is METAPHOR for TEAM.


Palooka Team of Today =====> Scary Team of Tomorrow
It is selfish to be sure, but why would Brian Roberts want to go to CUBS when Orioles Are CUB POLAR BEAR right now and soon will grow up to be a cold-blooded October Seal-Eating Machine. Does Esskay Hotdogs (available in Meet, Beef or Chicken) make a BLUBBER DOG? Incidentally, Superblogger ROCK KUBATKO reports that Camden Yards will have STEAKUM BURGERS this year to compliment BEER And DIP N DOT selection.

How is it possible not love Baltimroe Orioels?

sOur grapes

let's draw up handy timeline to see if we can figure out which oriole disparaged organization "off the record" for tom boswell's march 3 column:

feb. 25: team hires young kid to help run organization, further pushing mike flanagan to realm of irrelevance

march 2: team meets up for spring games against nationals and flanagan cozies up to mr. oriole hater himself, tom boswell, remarking on john patterson's arm (on the record) for sunday edition.

march 3: the next day, commenting on spring re-building phase, boswell quotes source as follows: 'we should have done this two or three years ago,' one oriole said this weekend.

conclusion: um. it doesn't take episode of CSI: Baltimore to figure out who his 'oriole' is.

just curiOus...

all today's hoohah in sun about mr. bible & gun makes wayward O hope even more that tike redman becomes starting left fielder. don't get me wrong, everyone is entitled to their opinions and proclivities, but please ... keep it out of the clubhouse.

and then there's this: redman has more potential.

but don't let wayward O's opinion sway your gut feelingz! vote in handy poll and let wayward O who you like. and if you are feeling extra-inspired let wayward O know why in commentz....

thanks, have nice day and GO TEAM. and if you picked "sombody else," please feel free to explain. wayward O figured nobody would actually choose jay gibbons and chris roberson is apparently a year away at least...

mOdem

wayward O is in horse country, aka western howard county, at house where internet connection is MODEM DIALING. reminds wayward O of ancient times when whine of modem was sound of progress writ large and each day brought new beer coaster to mailbox. and team was ONLY ONE IN MID-ATLANTIC REGION and team was in playoffs and team was being robbed by umpires bearing lingering grudges against expectorating second basemen!

amazingly, grumpy little modem is still relevant in these parts, friend. because there is NO DSL here and there is NO CABLE HERE. just horses, chevy silverados and lingering sunsets that twinkle amid bare branches of forested hills. wayward O feels like he should be listening to PEARL JAM or something, just to make experience more authentic.

also arguably relevant despite national ongoing media blackout is black and orange baltimore orioles team. so many breaths of fresh air down in ft. lauderdale so far as the lOst season begins earliest congealings and team looks to see who will make big club to play alongside young savior and the deadwoods.

• adam jones says all right things, check.
• matt wieters says all right things, check.
• jamie walker says all right things. wayward o wondered if he used astronaut diapers to make time during drive from flatlands down to spring training facility but was too shy to ask. check.
• even BROB says all right things!
• markakis says he would say all right things except he doesn't say things, so -- yes that's a check.
• luis hernandez, aka the latino second coming of mark belanger, says all right things.
• dennis sarfate says all right things in eloquent fashion! check.
  
• and trembO says ... we're going to play hard and try to win us some ball games. check.

maybe old man roberts will stick around and play second base and anchor offense. it's not like he's methuselah, exactly. he could play his career here and if team plays cards right he'll probably sniff playoffs in '09 or so. for unlike dial-up internet, team's rebuilding phase seems to be showing real promise finally. also showing promise is washington post, which has a beat reporter covering spring training for orioles. washington post seems to struggle with relationship to non-DC baseball team but seems to have made decision to continue acknowledging existence of Orioles.

all good things. pretty much. except for troy patton's labrums or whatever those things are.

no graphics today or shiny Interweb dingdongs because modem is very creaky and it's unclear at press time whether post will actually make it from computer screen onto cyber space womper tubes.*

wayward O is quite curious about readers' impressions so far as young spring gets under way so if, dear reader, if you have inclination please let fly in the comments section below...

* seems to have!!

'nOne of that was accurate'

If world was Bud Light ad, Team General Manager Andy MacPhail simply would have said, "Dude."

But instead he spoke at length Friday at Warehouse regarding endless spinning about Erik Bedard trade and about endless rumors and conjectures regarding what was holding up trade. Let's look at what he said:

"This hasn't been my favorite period as you can imagine. ... I've been privately a little critical of 'journalism.'"

Now, more publicly so.

MacPhail called initial reports of the trade, from Jan. 27, "premature." He went on to say: " ... this is a big move and both teams need to satisfy themselves ... so it took an extra week. To me it was never of much impact whether I was up here Feb. 2nd or I'm up here Feb. 8th making an announcement. In May nobody will remember the date."

He hammered sports journos who wrote stories professing to know about why trade was slow to be finalized, saying "it's unfortunate that we had to go through a slew of rumors and scenarios" and added "none of that was accurate."


Andy MacPhail to reporters:
You're embarrassing yourselves.
And he wrapped up his very low-key yet unmistakable lambasting with the following: "We have to live with the consequences of this action and so do our fans." The "real reason" for the delay, according to MacPhail, was that Seattle GM Bill Bavasi "was thinking this was going to be a three-for one," where the Orioles had five players in mind.

Wayward O takes a couple things from this:

• unlike Yankees and other teams, Os still have bad relationship with reporters
• having good relationship with reporters is crucial
• conversely, having good team is more important than a few extra page views
• MacPhail is very smart and has ability to be critical without being strident
• organization needs to work on relationships with media and vice-versa
• MacPhail seems like the guy who might be able to do this...

The Ken Rosenthals of the world clearly have a hatred for Orioles and Rosenthal especially seems intent on damaging team with everything he writes. Yet even though he makes things up out of thin air, he still seems to be afforded more benefit of doubt and credibility than team itself.

Hopefully recent events will change this and team will regain respect in terms of its word, which of late it seems to be upholding over and over again. Nobody seems to believe it, but MacPhail seems to be in charge. All good things.

Oh and um in case you didn't hear, Erik Bedard is gone but we have Adam jOnes.

hug him and kiss him and call him geOrge

george sherrill is most under-rated and under-hyped player in erik bedard trade hype fiasco.

look at his 2007 ....

appearances ----- ip ----- Ks ----- whip ----- era
73 -------------- 45.7 --- 56 ----- .985 ----- 2.36

is this a typO? pull the trigger! add him to jamie walker and chad bradford in bullpen.


now you're having fun!

audiOfile, part 1

as diaspOra salivates over maybe trades and hangs on each tiny snippet and rumor, and as we wait out winter time ahead of "next year" we start by officially crediting Sun writer Dan Connolly for COINING NICKNAME for upcoming year:

2008: the LOST SEASON

So ... CONFOUNDING. So ... MYSTERIATING. So ... EPIC and yet UNDERSTATED! LIKE IF EDDIE MURRAY WERE SUBJECT OF CORMAC McCARTHY NOVEL ... wandering barren earth with MUTTON CHOP SIDEBURNS AKIMBO.

But Wayward O must ask: If team plays kids and finally put oldsters out to pasture and develops a core of YOUNG LOYALISTS, to ride into battle alongside YOUNG SAVIOR, would that be a LOST SEASoN? to wayward O's way of thinking that would in fact be a FOUND SEASON.

anyway, so to soothe speculative pain of LOST SEASON, Wayward O, feeling very fancy, is instituting a NEW OCCASIOnial feature on baseball blog, which will highlight CRABTOWN MUSIC for Os Fans. Here is INAUGURAL OFFERING...

wachoo know about baltimore? *

"People don't realize what they about to do in this city..."

* from here. please purchase immediately!