Monday, August 17, 2009

adieu, manhOrse

so long, aub.

you will be missed.


Friday, June 19, 2009

taming manhOrse: a 3-step guide, by wiggy


Pretend You're Going For "High Five"
Images: MASN via


Go Low


Hang On And Get Help!

What a precious win that was last night! What made it extra special was it was heard via dulcet, crackling tones of ACTUAL AM RADIO. Wayward O wants to congratulate lately maligned manager David Q. Trembley for inserting pinch runner Felix Pie for Godly Catcher who hit clutch double in ninth inning.

Wayward O would like to gently chide Pie for clapping not once, but six times, when he was called safe at third base on Brian Roberts' bunt in ninth. Mr. Felix, that is a ONE CLAP situation. Six claps there is too many. But you are young and Wayward O is apparently one of few who is still glad you are on Team so you get the special one-on-one advice from Blog.

There is no real need to go on at length about Mr. Aubrey because greatness speaks for itself.

Wayward O will leave you with interesting little nugget from haughty New York Times report about last night's game, which will give you clear idea of how League regards Team:

[W]hat surprised [K-Rod] and catcher Omir Santos was how selective the Orioles
had suddenly become. “They swing at almost everything” is how Santos described
their approach.

Incidently, since Times openly speculates a Huff-to-Mets trade, who exactly on Mets or in Mets organization does newspaper think is going to be counterparty?


Saturday, March 14, 2009

the manhOrse speaks


tiny reporter, be calm, and write my words down so they may be read eOns from now.


Friday, August 15, 2008

yawnage .... mOre lame musings

1) according to baltimore sun, my man aubrey has cleared the waiver wire...
"I enjoy the staff, the players, the organization. I've had a great
time this year. I see a lot of future in this team. I left an organization in
Tampa that has gotten good. I'd hate to leave this place and see them get good
as well."

and that's what my man aubrey told the sunpape.

2) camdenchat is fun place to be ... especially after 8-run innings like last night.

3) when big bird can't throw strikes he does next-best thing: he starts crunching bones with his fastball. OUCH!

4) wayward o got a job or something so it's been busy lately ... sorry about lack of otherwOrldly postage.


Wednesday, July 30, 2008

bOring text entry

just a couple four thingers this morning.
  • good story in washpo about trade aspirations -- mlb teams no longer look to Os as dopey trade deadline palookas. Os have nice core and will ask for real value
  • aubrey huff is golden deity, tied with alex r. in home runs but aub. had game-winner last nite and a-rod had a boo boo on his arm
  • the ascension of daniel "big bird gotham" cabrera is reawakening like the c'thulu ... FACE THE THING THAT SHOULD NOT BE!
  • kevin millar is wayward o's daddy
  • robinson cano is a surly jerk who strikes out in big spots
  • the tex trade makes it 6.3% LESS LIKELY he'll ever come to baltimore. current odds of team signing local boy stand at 12.45%. O's will offer carlos lee money; someone else will offer slightly less than a-rod money. in maryland we teach our kids to not give away $50 million just you know because maryland is so nice ... or do we? time will tell

dennis sarfate gets ball at 1 p.m. in da bronnix today. is sweep too much to ask? probably...

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Tuesday, July 8, 2008

american league player Of the week

.345 BA for week of 7/6


fickle fanz forgive AUBREY HUFF because AUBREY HUFF LOVES AMERICA

Balt. Sun Photo

take it out on yankeeraysox!

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Saturday, May 24, 2008

destrOying a game

when wayward O goes on team blogs today and reads fans saying team shouldn't be mad about last night's umpiring because they're not scoring enough runs, he simply can't believe his eyes.

are fans suggesting team should win 8-0 every night? for the love of god that's not baseball! baseball is supposed to be taut. and the sport is set up to allow teams to come through in clutch. which is exactly what aub. did last night. and his performance was swept away by a capricious umpire.

and many orioles fans blithely discount it --- because team didn't already have a bunch of runs?

disgusting. what kind of fans are these, anyway?

the only last question remaining about last night's disgusting display of umpiring in tampa bay is: was it done purposefully? and the evidence leads wayward O to a disturbing conclusion: yes, it very possibly was. look especially at image no. 3 and you'll see why.

1. Aubrey comes up big. You can see
the ball in fair territory. It's the white
smudge to right of first baseman.

2. Another look. Ball clearly,
and I mean CLEARLY fair.

3. Umpire Ed Hickox looking directly at
fair ball, signalling foul. John Shelby
giving Aubrey the sign to run.

4. Aubrey can't believe the call.

5. TrembO and Aubrey argue their case.

6. The guilty party stands alone.

Here's the video, too.

All that said, Wayward O still isn't a fan of replay. What's going to happen? Aubrey is going to keep running, Tampa Defenders aren't going to play the ball. Aubrey is going to run all the way to home plate? And the game is going to be delayed a half hour and melt down into a giant mess.

No. Wayward O wants some umpires who know their jobs and aren't blind and stupid.


Wednesday, April 2, 2008

'ain't going tO lie'

the thing is, aubrey, nobody is EVER going to accuse you of being a liar.

they might take offense at your talent and your, um, er, off-the-cuff remarks.

but nobody will ever say you're a liar, dawg.

Baltimore Sun Photo

you're a rich man, aubrey, yOu ain't got to lie!!


Wednesday, November 14, 2007

hOlier than aubrey

baltimore examiner story seems to have aubrey quote that set off nation of clean-living orioles fans!
Huff was asked about [the city of] Baltimore’s respect towards the team, in
comparison to Tampa, where Huff spent the better part of seven seasons.

“It is [respected] because it’s an older organization. It’s got some
pride, but what a horse[shit] city,” Huff said. “The way we’re playing we’re
going to have as many fans as in Tampa.”

how dare aubrey note how:
  • orioles, himself included, aren't playing well
  • fans aren't coming anymore
  • team has long, proud history
  • turnaround better happen soon

yes, yes. aubrey was not as clean and sober as you'd like him to be, especially given PURITANICAL NATURE of team's fan-base. and perhaps he could have been more articulate. but nevermind that. Os fans are totally telling on him! they will not rest until andy macphail trades infielder to another team for ... well ... a case of red bull?

throw him in the tub!


maybe this will be lynchpin, fulcrum, moment in time, that propels team into a true rebuilding cycle. if it is, then aubrey-as-fall guy is a small price to pay. after all brian roberts hit .290 whereas aubrey only hit .280! and b-rob, for example, was probably sober THE WHOLE TIME and NEVER looked at adult entertainment THE WHOLE TIME!

and that is what matters most about baseball -- just ask manny ramirez and hideki matsui.


Monday, November 12, 2007

salty dundalk-ness!


wnst media empire, TRYING TO MAKE MARK ON CRAB-TOWN, has major aubrey huff scoop: aubrey LIKES LADIES and BOOZE and HE'S NOT AFRAID TO ADMIT IT, especially after a couple well-poured vodka-red bullz! Also Aubrey Huff SWEARS.

for sake of background, aubrey went on satellite radio stern wanabe show in florida, apparently after one too many 'drunky pours,' and kind of made ass of self. you can even see part of it here. But you must first watch ad for "best adult clip site on Internet," so be warned.

.280 hitter while hungover

best/worst quote from video on bubba site: "aubrey took off his shirt!"

aubrey goes on to talk about drinking, marriage, life on the road, and other important baseball SUBDRAMAS, in very candid manner, often employing colorful, four-letter words. but all the while he reminds us, he's now married, and EVEN ASKS RADIO HOST FOR DESIGNATED DRIVER!

story probably would have died there, but WNST is on it like NEW YORK YANKEES on TALENTED BALTIMORE FREE AGENTS, with -- *gasp* -- curse-laden transcripts and many blog posts.

wnst blogger, under headline, "Aubrey Huff Is a Liar," writes:
Let me first say that I’m no prude. From adult entertainment to nude women
to pornography, it’s not for me to judge. I’m a libertarian of the highest
order. I like sex and naked women as much as anyone. And I have no particular
problem with the use of profanity or locker room talk. I have my own salty,
Dundalk-ness, which most anyone would confirm.

But, that said, how STUPID can Aubrey Huff be to come on the air and
discuss how much he loves to masturbate in his hotel room?
then goes on to say:

It makes locker room talk look sanitized, to be honest with you. It’s a BRUTAL
display of arrogance and lack of accountability for what he does for a living
so which way do they want it? BOTH WAYS. they want to ride aubrey to RATINGS HEAVEN! apparently, too, fellas at WNST feel like it's perfectly OK for REGULAR GUYS to go check out DUNDALK STRIPPERS as long as one isn't a RICH BASEBALL PLAYER!

but nevermind all the stripper stuff. Aubrey's most CONTROVERSIAL comments are about game itself. specifically about being STUDENT OF GAME:
The guys that are studying -- it’s bullshit. See ball, hit ball. You know what I
mean? You’ve done it your whole life. You see the ball, you hit it. All this
studying? Honestly, you’re gonna look at a piece of, a TV? And say this guy,
this guy is going to throw me this way? No, he might throw you a different way!
Who cares? Just see it and hit it!
in other words ... Aubrey is a NATURAL. and also aubrey defies other players to truthfully claim they spend all day on road looking at film. so, is wayward O to believe that CAL RIPKEN JR. was actually watching BURLESQUE ENTERTAINMENT all the while he said he was studying the opposing pitcher in his high-dollar road suites??? what would SR. say? probably something like this ...

Let's hit Whispers in Dundalk
after this horsesh*t is over...

well -- WNST claims not to be judging, so wayward O will: Aubrey is Wayward O's new hero. Wayward O is kind of tired of holier-than-thou baseball players who play fast and loose with scriptures and says ... SCORE ONE FOR BULL DURHAM!

maybe aubrey will finally find his "truth" on baseball diamond, too, and start hitting!

if orioles ever DO TRADE HUFF as result of blue tirade, send him to HOUSTON ASTROS or TEXAS RANGERS for some PERSPECTIVE on GREAT MARXIAN BASEBALL DIALECTIC: JESUS or HOOKERS...

There's more than one way
to get to third base!

and to WNST, just remember what the J-Man says: JUDGE NOT, LEST YE BE.