melmemplOyment line

'it's been sO many years'

Sun Photo

1 dOwn, 9 left

Team's 10-game winning streak began last night with VERITABLE TYPHOON OF MELMOSITY.


Don't try this at home
Good thing REIMOLD was GOOD LOOKING OUT and run home while Melv. was backpedaling toward visitors' dugout after

SUPERPALOOKA BATNUB RBI
For stat freaks in bloggussfer Memlo is LEAGUE LEADER in SuBaNuRBs!!

If what we hear is true then, fans it is incumbent upon you enjoy LATTER DAYS of Mora and Huffy-bear.

Also thank you David Hernandez for pitching baseball nicely!!

the new wOrld

Wayward O came home to U.S. American homeland, last evening, narrowly dodging midair crash. Two weeks in fjords and Sweden and Amsterdam is more than enough to get nice and relaxed. But many Eurokidz in Holland sport the Yankee hats and that was sort of annoying. But not really. After all they think it means "New York" when everybody else knows it means, "Big-Butted, Overpaid, Traveling All-Stars."

Also did you know Eric the Red had trouble with hitting change-up? That's why his son went to New World and Eric stayed in Greenland where it's all about fastball. Wayward O learned that at the Nutisk Hustomskische Flamskmuseum in Uppsala where also some guy named Linnaeus was first man to rub pine tar on boat oars.

Also did you know that cows in Sweden live in forest? That is no lie. Ask anybody. That's why Swedes eat mostly fish. Did you ever try to find a cow hiding in stand of 500-year-old oaks guarded by trolls? That's. What. Wayward O. Thought.

Apparently there was some baseball news over last two weeks, some involving other teams and some involving Team. Here is what Wayward O has managed to cobble together based on what little he has heard:

• David Ortiz is cheater and Red Sox have joined Chemical Bankees in tainted champ dept.
• His "Brady" year behind him, Josh Hamilton is reverting to form, sadly
• The Mets and Royals have collapsed and the Brewers aren't far behind
• Erik Bedard hurt himself or something and can't pitch
• If the Giants sneak in, watch out!
• There are now two guys in MLB named Jhonny
• The Nats are good or something
• Memlo had a Memlostic Meltdown
• FlatBrim got traded to Dodgers for some guys who can play
• Team has kids pitching and many fans are complaining about manager

Guess that's about it. Looking forward to watching Mastusz today! Oh and not too late to submit pithy caption entry (see below...)

write the captiOn

Nice emailer who prefers anOnymity sent along this photo of Amber and Luuuuke from Team's recent 12-4 romp over Mariners at Safeco...


He ain't sayin', he's just sayin'
Which Wayward O couldn't resist turning into caption contest. So have at it in comments and remember, this is usually family site!

Also remember: Your wit must fit in talky bubbles so more Charles Schulz, less Marcel Proust!!!

Winner receives Genuine Replica Lake Placid 1980 Souvenir Olympics Mini-Flag!

Reader also says he likes Melmosity posts, and, well, we've always got a few spare Melmoments lying around on cutting room floor ... this one is aftermath of Memlo's super dramatic catch during bottom of 2nd on Sunday vs. White Sox.


Image: MASN via MLB.tv
It looks like Melmo leapt 8 feet in air to snag ball but he really, you know, just caught it and, well, fell over. And rolled a few times for good measure.

Thanks for mail and keep it coming!

memlO smashes rallybubble! ... (game slips away)

SO MUCH MELMOSITY AT ANGELS' BASEBALL FIELD TONIGHT!

we all know how memlo HATES RALLY Monkey! well...

HE HATES RALLYBUBBLES TOO!!!

KablaMelmo! Image via Fox Sports West
so when Ol Man Vladdy and his conquering Angels decided it would be good idea to let "A-shaped" rallybubbles float through California night to WOO FANS to Ballpark and one flew too close to VANQUISHING VENEZUELAN ...

WELL, ABOVE PHOTOGRAPH TELLS FINAL CHAPTER of ill-fated floater!!!!

home plate umpire paul emmel and catcher mike napoli were STUNNED by raw display of aggression.

wait just a mel-mOment!

Memlo has been trying very hard not to be old man! He takes field each day in hopes of regaining youthful form!


Old Guys In Dugout
Images: MASN via MLB.tv
And last night he hit baseball almost over fence!!


Scene of Crime
But cheeky fan -- wearing MEMLO TSHIRT NO LESS -- was found by umpires to interfere, knocking ball from Endy Chavez's baseball mitt!!!


Punch Out! Trembley tries not to blow gasket.
Ok, Ok, so it was pretty much right call. Anyway "Three E" finally got team off losing shnide and dumb Mariners still lost anyway.

Also fans of Team believe in LONG RUN this will benefit them. Because you know .... some day it could happen to US. You know. In Playoffs.

grand master melly mO

there has been NO SHORTAGE OF MELMOSITY early in Team's season.

for example:

-- memlo saved opening day game v. yankees, stifling rally with DIVING GRAB IN HOT CORNER, where memlo is stationed in case you forget!
-- and memlo was UNFAIRLY CALLED OUT at home plate wednesday by feckless umpire in close win over fat yankees that umpires tried to sabotage ... when everyone even KEN SINGLETON knew he was safe!
-- also then mean carl crawford stepped on his foot friday!
-- so what if nick and b-rob and ZAUN and FANCY PITCHERS are getting most of props as team is off to fast start even tho memlo really has been EYE OF OFFENSIVE HURRICANE!

that is why memlo made GRAND SLAM YESTERDAY NIGHT!



¡Cinqo zero cabrones!

and then tried to act all cool while circling basepaths! but we fans could see how much MELMOCIOUSNESS was flowing in veins!

¿AHORA QUE ONDA?
happy easter roll some eggs then SWEEP GROSS DEVIL RAYS!!!

measuring melmOsity, part 2

not long after MEMLO's six-hit, 5-ribby, pounding of dumb tigers yesterday, a team of scientists took count of melmon-ions from melmo's BLOOD STREAM, and this morning revealed latest result...


LATEST READING = 109.5 melmOnions per sq. decaliter
folks, we have entered the FIRST EMPIRICALLY MEASURED PERIOD OF


MELMOCIOUS EXPANSION
ON RECORD.

scientists, using anecdotal evidence, speculate previous MELOSTIC EXPANSE ERA may have been in august of 2006, prior to MELMO's SIGNING OF MASSIVE CONTRACT.

"we are simply benefitting from new, more finely tuned technology," said scientist charlie a. tango of baltimore's memlonic community college in a release, adding "but i must admit ... it's exciting for us scientists to see it officially measured as such."

bOnanza!

terry crowley is redeemed. not just as result of last night's homerfest, but because he apparently

INSPIRED YOUNG SAVIOR

on monday as well.

also there was so much melmOsity in tuesday night/wednesday morning's game!! especially when our melmodramatic third baseman ROLLED OVER HOME PLATE IN 11th with TYING RUN!! Look at the pain! And the suffering:


melmOdrama!
and how many times must aubrey huff come up huge? he has carried team on back the last couple of ... well really since season began.

and how many times will you see a 4-2-5 double play? alex rodriguez said after game the brian roberts was "lucky" to snag his hot shot to second base. maybe, but he made the play. you know who didn't make a play? derek jeter. he was asleep between second and third and didn't get over in time.

as gary thorne said after alex cintron's winning hit, "an amazing night."


also we have a special diaspOra post to add to day's amazing news!


from the Daily News
name: fabOlous
location: miami
gear choice: looks like an orange ornithologically correct team cap
status: possible Os fan, though searches show he wears many hats
quote: unavailable
wayward o says: you know bird is ascendant when hipster rappers are getting on board!

measuring melmOsity

Wayward O blew 45% of 2008 capital budget hiring SCIENCE EDITOR but expense has PAID OFF as we have determined crucial new calculus for determining Melmo's Mental States. Measuring Melmosity, it turns out, is as easy as counting Melmonions in Melmo's BLOOD STREAM. Third baseman's Melmonian count seems to vary as a direct result of team's on-field performance, which is a GOOD THING.



Science editor is VERY EXCITED TO BEGIN REGULAR READINGS but regrets only that we LACK BASELINE from:

• playoff days with Mets
• 2005 meltdOwn

that notwithstanding, we press on in name of discovery!

Recently, while dreaming of playoffs, a sleeping Melmo's Melmonion count spiked above 138 but soon returned to normal Melmonian levels upon waking. Currently, science editor suspects 83-level reflects overall excitement about team but some trepidation after being nipped by Nats on GETAWAY DAY and upcoming trip to YANKEE STADIUM.

melvin is mOst ill and he's buntin' and stealin'

"I don't like that Rally Monkey."
--rallymelmO

do how you do.

say how you say.

bunt how you bunt.

steal third with two outs how you steal third with two outs.

just get guthrie his winz!

in other important news, we're kind of retiring the ESSKAY MEAT SURVEY, though you may still mull over and change vote! in an UPSET, MEAT flavored MEAT is most popular flavor of meat!!!

team is on FOX today? though not in nyc because of dumb mets. go BIG BIRD!!!