measuring melmOsity, part 2

not long after MEMLO's six-hit, 5-ribby, pounding of dumb tigers yesterday, a team of scientists took count of melmon-ions from melmo's BLOOD STREAM, and this morning revealed latest result...


LATEST READING = 109.5 melmOnions per sq. decaliter
folks, we have entered the FIRST EMPIRICALLY MEASURED PERIOD OF


MELMOCIOUS EXPANSION
ON RECORD.

scientists, using anecdotal evidence, speculate previous MELOSTIC EXPANSE ERA may have been in august of 2006, prior to MELMO's SIGNING OF MASSIVE CONTRACT.

"we are simply benefitting from new, more finely tuned technology," said scientist charlie a. tango of baltimore's memlonic community college in a release, adding "but i must admit ... it's exciting for us scientists to see it officially measured as such."

bOnanza!

terry crowley is redeemed. not just as result of last night's homerfest, but because he apparently

INSPIRED YOUNG SAVIOR

on monday as well.

also there was so much melmOsity in tuesday night/wednesday morning's game!! especially when our melmodramatic third baseman ROLLED OVER HOME PLATE IN 11th with TYING RUN!! Look at the pain! And the suffering:


melmOdrama!
and how many times must aubrey huff come up huge? he has carried team on back the last couple of ... well really since season began.

and how many times will you see a 4-2-5 double play? alex rodriguez said after game the brian roberts was "lucky" to snag his hot shot to second base. maybe, but he made the play. you know who didn't make a play? derek jeter. he was asleep between second and third and didn't get over in time.

as gary thorne said after alex cintron's winning hit, "an amazing night."


also we have a special diaspOra post to add to day's amazing news!


from the Daily News
name: fabOlous
location: miami
gear choice: looks like an orange ornithologically correct team cap
status: possible Os fan, though searches show he wears many hats
quote: unavailable
wayward o says: you know bird is ascendant when hipster rappers are getting on board!

measuring melmOsity

Wayward O blew 45% of 2008 capital budget hiring SCIENCE EDITOR but expense has PAID OFF as we have determined crucial new calculus for determining Melmo's Mental States. Measuring Melmosity, it turns out, is as easy as counting Melmonions in Melmo's BLOOD STREAM. Third baseman's Melmonian count seems to vary as a direct result of team's on-field performance, which is a GOOD THING.



Science editor is VERY EXCITED TO BEGIN REGULAR READINGS but regrets only that we LACK BASELINE from:

• playoff days with Mets
• 2005 meltdOwn

that notwithstanding, we press on in name of discovery!

Recently, while dreaming of playoffs, a sleeping Melmo's Melmonion count spiked above 138 but soon returned to normal Melmonian levels upon waking. Currently, science editor suspects 83-level reflects overall excitement about team but some trepidation after being nipped by Nats on GETAWAY DAY and upcoming trip to YANKEE STADIUM.

melvin is mOst ill and he's buntin' and stealin'

"I don't like that Rally Monkey."
--rallymelmO

do how you do.

say how you say.

bunt how you bunt.

steal third with two outs how you steal third with two outs.

just get guthrie his winz!

in other important news, we're kind of retiring the ESSKAY MEAT SURVEY, though you may still mull over and change vote! in an UPSET, MEAT flavored MEAT is most popular flavor of meat!!!

team is on FOX today? though not in nyc because of dumb mets. go BIG BIRD!!!