the new wOrld

Wayward O came home to U.S. American homeland, last evening, narrowly dodging midair crash. Two weeks in fjords and Sweden and Amsterdam is more than enough to get nice and relaxed. But many Eurokidz in Holland sport the Yankee hats and that was sort of annoying. But not really. After all they think it means "New York" when everybody else knows it means, "Big-Butted, Overpaid, Traveling All-Stars."

Also did you know Eric the Red had trouble with hitting change-up? That's why his son went to New World and Eric stayed in Greenland where it's all about fastball. Wayward O learned that at the Nutisk Hustomskische Flamskmuseum in Uppsala where also some guy named Linnaeus was first man to rub pine tar on boat oars.

Also did you know that cows in Sweden live in forest? That is no lie. Ask anybody. That's why Swedes eat mostly fish. Did you ever try to find a cow hiding in stand of 500-year-old oaks guarded by trolls? That's. What. Wayward O. Thought.

Apparently there was some baseball news over last two weeks, some involving other teams and some involving Team. Here is what Wayward O has managed to cobble together based on what little he has heard:

• David Ortiz is cheater and Red Sox have joined Chemical Bankees in tainted champ dept.
• His "Brady" year behind him, Josh Hamilton is reverting to form, sadly
• The Mets and Royals have collapsed and the Brewers aren't far behind
• Erik Bedard hurt himself or something and can't pitch
• If the Giants sneak in, watch out!
• There are now two guys in MLB named Jhonny
• The Nats are good or something
• Memlo had a Memlostic Meltdown
• FlatBrim got traded to Dodgers for some guys who can play
• Team has kids pitching and many fans are complaining about manager

Guess that's about it. Looking forward to watching Mastusz today! Oh and not too late to submit pithy caption entry (see below...)

the liOn in winter....

well. we are retiring koji poll while old man koje is still ahead...

also here is patented HAIKURL for japan veteran pitcher!

koji on DL
does the bullpen await him?
jiwon bang stands mute

inventOry

mlb.com writer spencer fordin got the jump on the hot stove yesterday with an interesting article on team's post-season pitching plan, writing

[Andy] MacPhail, who wants to be as cautious as possible with his remaining
prospects, will seek reinforcements through every means available, meaning that the Orioles will seek to add arms through free agency, the waiver wire and trades.

"It's a really a game of inventory for me -- as many as you can," he said. "You are going to have certain disappointments [and] you're going to have some pleasant developments. You've just got to work with numbers and try to build up the base as best as you can and add as much inventory as you can and sort of go with the events from there."

wayward O is heartened to see "free agency" in there but does this "inventory" concept preclude the signing of a top talent who you know is going to win 15 games minimum? just curious....

pay that man his mOney

let's talk about erik bedard.

wayward O didn't want to bring this up this year. he wanted to wait until next year when Orioles have good record. but with 15-K domination of rangers last night, eriK moves lifetime record to 34-33, all with orioles, who have been losing team over same span.

my friends, eriK isn't looking back ... win total will move way beyond where it currently stands.

wayward O has grown used to watching eriK pitch and desperately hopes Orioles are smart enough to keep him. despite taciturn demeanor, erik is a solid dude, very smart, and plays hard. is there storm inside mind of canadian pitcher? perhaps. perhaps not. the lengthy time off in 2005 because of injury still sticks in back of wayward O's mind as black spot on resume -- but that's the only one. and one must give him courtesy of understanding he's young and has plenty of room and leeway to mature.

so it's time for a 4-year, $60 million contract offer; lock him up through 2011 now. show him he's valued and he's not going to be traded and orioles are going to make a winner around him.

to naysayers on baltimore blogs, who suggest that bedard isn't a tough guy, wayward O simply says: you are bitter, absurd and probably drunk.

bedard is real deal.

the wing-man

yankees cry. but they no nothing of injuries. Os too have minus three starters now. minus four if you want to count John Maine. dagger!

adam loewen is not the yOung savior. he is the second canadian; he is the unheralded hero; he is like the guy in 'the last king of scotland' who frees the creepy doctor to save uganda and is shot dead.

he is the second vector.

the unseen force of change.

the quiet mollusk waiting in the sand.

and in 2008 when Orioles bring back same 2007 squad minus a certain red-haired DH and plus a real DH then lOewen will reclaim his position as the Canadian Coronator or as some of you may know him: Lefty No. 2 from the Great White North. The cold cut clipper.

The Wing-Man.

Wayward O feels like the 2007 team is gelling; toughening up; relearning what it means to inherit the mantle of Brooks Robinson, Earl Weaver and Eddie Murray. Except they can't get a hit ... last night's win over Cleveland was a rare gem to be savored when the darkness sets in.

Meantime ... Wayward O feels like Brian Burres might have a little bit of fight in him. Four inning's worth apprOximatley.

wing man. please rest your fracture
and when you make your return
orioles will hit the ball to the outfield
with a man on third
and a Win shall be yours.

adam LOewen

six innings, three hits vs. twins today.

who is "yan ruddy?" it's funny listening to out-of-town announcers struggle with other teams' spring training rosters.


by the way, hayden penn is a great kid. they sent him down to the minors and he was all, "hey it's cool." he's 23 and very mellow. just a little wild on the hill.

ps. another day, another home run for the young savior.

mazzOne

rumor has it that hayden penn has ALREADY SHAVED his youthful moustache but from the what the wayward O understands about the teams facial-hair policy, moustaches are not taboo. is it possible hayden plans to trade in the "pushbroom" for the "waterfront"?

this baffling development led us to a wild bout of googling, and our curiously quickly turned to depression when we ran into this little nugget from june 25, 2005 in the washington post:

The Orioles have lost four of five and are out of first place for the first time since April 22. Meantime, the Red Sox have won 10 of 11.

featuring this heartbreaking photo of the moustachio-non moustachoied golden child!!!

how i remember that day. as a member of the diaspOra, i felt powerless against all the new york media types who for months had sanguinely predicted the birdies' downfall. and then we all had to LIVE IT. even though we know it didn't have to be that way ... bedard had a phantom injury and matos and lopez both had real injuries. and ... THE WAYWARD O DIGRESSES. let us not wallow in this bit of history.

who will take the golden child from the realm of young promise to the cold, hard reality of october? unlike john maine he's not likely to be traded, at least at this point, to the mets or another contenda. the answer?

the mazzone!!!!!!!!


if depth of experience and ampleness of backside has anything to do with success in the big leagues, which judging by the yankees and red sox it does, then he's got us covered. he will get penn to beef up, and leave his slender, youthful days behind, and win us some damn ballgamez!!!!

so many things happening!

the wayward o had a scary dream last night. he was in the nest of his childhood, except it was dilapated and threabare. and a huge thunderstorm was pelting the branches of his elm tree near hagerstown. he had to make it up the steps to find a prized possession but andy pettitte was somewhere in the nest, which is a duplex. except it wasn't really pettitte. it was a bible-carrying frankenstein, and he had a knife, and he was crashing about saying 'i will go 4-1 vs. baltimore this year' over and over again. i awoke and realized it was only a bad dream and horseface largebutt probably won't kill the Os like he has in previous years especially because...

HAYDEN PENN NOW HAS A MOUSTACHE AND AN ATTITUDE.

like if he had been trapped on jetblue like lee mazzilli was he would have been all, my boss is a SUPERLAWYER and i'm going to sue your airplane-driving a$$e$!

you might say well that's not much of a moustache and anyway horseface largbutt has a dimple chin and that's way more intimidating but IT'S A START and also Daniel Cabrera got TASER SURGERY on his eyeballz and he will be a force to be reckoned with as well.

and also you know who's all mad and stuff? steve trachsel! yeah the new york mets' year-in year-out whipping boy was shocked, SHOCKED to learn he may have to compete with the moustachioed golden child for a spot in the rOte. and he snarled at reporters like when dick cheney told pat leahy to grrrrr fuck off -- please excuse the expletive but when you're around the veep you have to expect fbombz -- anyway trax didn't drop any fbombz to our knowledge but he was all mad. part of the problem with the traxmeister is he never learned to control his emotions. hence the streakiness and hence the sad plight of an MLB veteran without a home who is still relatively young scrapping for a last spot on the rOte of a perennial 4th place squad.

BULLETIN: cal ripken jr. is on the fox five morning show in new york city and the fox 5 lady morning show anchor is a part of the diaspOra!!! and they're doing Os cal trivia!!!! and some guy she's competing against has a horn and she has a dingding!!! no LIE. oh her name is juliette and she won one of calz ballz!!! check back later for the Otube.

Update: The video is here. Watch Cal shrug and say how the congressional hearings on steroids "didn't go too well."

making trax

how was a 15-8 pitcher just sitting around for the Os to snap up when kris benson decided he didn't feel like playing this year?

the wayward O finds it strange. but we'll take it. it's a wash; he's pretty much going to be just as good as benson would have been.